HyperCRYPTICal

The Tutor

2012-02-29T14:39:00.000Z

Not so deep

inside his psyche

exists the

frightened little man;

defences up

he walls him in;

ego inflated.

Square, angular

'Chiselled from some

metamorphic rock'

(he muses)

jaw juts forward;

he gives emphasis

to every uttered word,

each morsel offered

as a tasty crumb

of wisdom

to be shared

vainglorious.

His student’s wait,

impatient

as he pauses yet again,

sits,

adopts his Rodin pose,

his thinking stance,

scratches

at his salt and pepper head,

dandruff flakes extracted,

he rolls twixt thumb and finger,

creates tiny oily balls,

flicks into waiting pocket

lest they contain

some random thought,

some stroke of genius

leached out,

secreted accidentally.

Class done,

'Young minds broadened'

(he muses)

he wanders

head bowed, shoulders slouched

as if carrying the burden

of his intellect

(self-perceived),

hands firmly clasped

behind waiting back,

through corridor and cloister.

The young ones,

see through his affect,

his pseudo-intellect

and titter ignominiously.

He flinches,

hurt

and not so deep inside

his psyche

exists the

frightened little man,

defences down,
wall tumbled,

ego deflated.

Anna :o]

Thanks to the good folk at Open Link Night ~ Week 33 (hosted and posted by Hedgewitch) at dVerse Poets Pub.

Vision

2012-02-26T11:54:00.000Z

Detail of the Schreyer-Landauer epitaph

Feathers, wedges, pitches,

rough shape stone.

beauty to define;

percussion lifts the veil,

reveals his vision;

the masons’ stroke

with every

successive sweep

projects relief,

elevates his dream

to final glory.

Victoria C. Slottos’ challenge at dVerse poets is to write an ekphrastic poem using a sculpture for inspiration. Although I paint and draw I have never sculpted, so research was needed and my hope is that sculpting tools and methods of sculpting used in my little effort were actually used during the lifetime of Adam Kraft (born c. 1455-6, Nuremberg, Bavaria [Germany] – died 1508/9), a sculptor of the Nuremberg school.

Below is a self portrait (1490s) of Adam which is sited at St. Lorenz Church, Nuremberg. How gifted he was!

Attributions: Adams self portrait courtesy of Wikipedia

Detail of the Schreyer-Landauer epitaph at St. Sebaldus Church, Nuremburg courtesy of Allie Caulfields' photostream at flickr.

Anna :o]

An Ordinary Man

2012-02-20T10:46:00.000Z

image: epic mahoney

Life complicates

with every twist and turn,

with every secret

held close

to anxious chest.

He dismounts,

parks up,

enters the box,

wishes the light

more dimmed,

lest he be observed

by prying eyes.

No indiscretions he,

an ordinary man he

remains amazed

at her choice

of him.

No wealth,

no great intellect,

the only thing

he has to offer

is himself.

He thinks of his wife,

the ready scowl,

the nagging tongue.

God, once he did love her so,

yet familiarity

bred contempt

and rent apart

the very fabric

that made them one.

He picks up the phone,

dials,

heart flutters

lest she not respond,

she does, whispers

“I love you!”

He straddles the bike;

elation

fades to heaviness.

She will be waiting,

her diatribe of bitter words

will spill like shards of glass,

will cut him deep.

She sees him,

no lover her,

no “I love you!”

her bitter words

stab at his heart.

He picks up the knife;

blind with rage

penetrates her flesh,

muttering

“Well my love,

till death us do part!”

With thanks to Tess at The Mag for the inspiration.

Anna :o]

The Sham Of e-petitions

2012-02-18T21:09:00.000Z

Oh I have lost count of how many times I have clicked on to Dr Kailash Chands e-petition and marvelled at the daily increase (in thousands) of those who have signed. Initially I truly believed that the general public genuinely had a voice and could elicit change, that when the magic total of 100,000 was reached, the subject of the petition would be debated in Parliament.

Then I read the ‘small print’ and realised I was a trusting fool.

The website states “e-petitions is an easy way for you to influence government policy in the UK.” However this is strictly not true as plainly stated in ‘How e-petitions work’ - “If you collect 100,000 signatures, your e-petition COULD be debated in the House of Commons.” Just could be, that’s all.

Any person in the UK can petition the government electronically and any petition that reaches 100,000 is referred to the House of Commons Backbench Business Committee (BBC), who reviews the petition and decides whether it merits debate in Parliament. (However a petition does not necessarily have to reach the 100,000 total if the Committee feels its subject merits debate.)

If a petition reaches 100,000 it does not automatically follow that it will be debated as it may be felt the subject does not merit debate, there is not time available to schedule the debate or no MP wishes to debate it.

With regards to Dr Chands e-petition Labour MP Natascha Engel (chairwoman of the BBC) states in this article in The Huffington Post “the amount of time allocated by the government meant it was increasingly difficult to schedule debates on contentious issues such as NHS reform.”

She also states that she can only schedule debates with cross-party support necessitating Liberal Democrats and/or Tory MPs to back the Drop the Health Bill petition.

So regrettably it would appear that the petition will/might not be debated and that the electorates’ voices will be ignored.

Is this surprising from a government that does not invite critics of its reforms to its meeting?

Anna :o[

Rome Is Burning

2012-02-16T10:53:00.002Z

There has been a wonderful surge of signatures to Dr Kailash Chands’ e-petition “Drop the Health Bill” and indeed it has more than surpassed the 100,000 mark (130,789 at the time of writing) required to allow debate in the House of Commons.

But will it be debated?

Click on FAQs and read that “If the subject of the e-petition is currently going through legal proceedings, it may be inappropriate for a debate to be held."

As Cameron and Lansley are determined to ignore the concerns of the BMA, 19 Royal Medical Colleges, Institute of Healthcare Management, Royal Colleges of Nurses and Midwifes, NHS Consultants’ Association, GMB, Unite and Unison unions, Faculty of Public Health, Patients Association, Institute of Healthcare Management, Medical, Management and Nursing Journals, Chartered Society of Physiotherapists, etc. and push ahead with this much hated bill – why would they take notice of an e-petition?

If our wonderful government are intent in ignoring the very people who work within the NHS what more can we do?

If you have not signed the e-petition please do so and Facebook and tweet it! Email your ‘contacts’ and ask them to do the same. (The greater the number - the less likely the e-petition will be ignored.)

Email your MP – ask him/her what they intend to do (remember they were elected by you to represent you) on 22nd February when a debate is to be held to vote on the release of the risk register. (Unison have made it easy - just follow instructions on page. You don't have to be a member of Unison to do so - I'm not)

Details on the risk register from Unisons' pages:

“The government has so far refused to release the so-called “risk register" behind its controversial Health Bill, despite the independent Information Commissioner telling them to do so.

Speculation suggests that the register contains damning information about the risks of the government's NHS overhaul, particularly around the cost of its plans and the ability of GPs to take on massive new responsibilities.

It takes just two minutes to make a difference

The debate on 22 February is a chance for MPs to vote for the government to release the risk register now, so that the public will have a better idea of what is in store for the NHS and our politicians will be better informed when considering the Health Bill in Parliament.

Ask your MP to support the motion that the risk register should be published.”

If you care about your NHS, please ask your MP to support the motion and again email your ‘contacts’ and ask them if they will do the same.

Email No 10 direct and inform Dave of your concerns. It of course is highly probable that he will not read it – but if enough of us write he will certainly be aware of the volume of mail received and the general publics’ unrest, fear, hatred of the HSCB. (Again ask your contacts to do so too.)

Dave’s pride has become more important to him than the wishes of US, the GENERAL PUBLIC, THE ELECTORATE. We live in a DEMOCRACY; we have a RIGHT to VOICE our OPINIONS.

Please don’t just sit there while Rome burns, do something now before it is too late!

Cheers!

Anna :o]

Update on the e-petition!

2012-02-14T17:17:00.002Z

I checked the number of signatures on the e-petition this morning and the total was 69,000+.

Went to bed, got up and read this article in Pulse, checked the petition to find 92,300 signatures.

What does that say to you Lansley? To me it says an awful lot of docs have signed today!

I am indeed a happy bunny!

Keep signing folks! (Just checked when creating this link - now 94,142! Yippee!)

Anna :o]

Time Is Running Out!

2012-02-11T05:14:00.001Z

JD provides a list here of those for and against the Health and Social Care Bill (HSCB) and he notes in his ‘Against’ column that “Most of the population (if they knew it)” would be.

I am certain he is correct.

So why don’t they/we know? I think Richard Bloggers’ excellent post “Why Patients Are Not Objecting To The Health Bill” is well worth a read. Please read it all!

He writes: “NHS patients treat the NHS like mains-supplied water. When you need it, it is there. Turn the tap on, and the water flows. Go to your doctor and get treated. You don't have to think how either is provided. You don't think about how it is funded. (Even people on metered water don't think: flushing this toilet will cost me 1p.) You know it is there and you use it when you need it.

And that is exactly how it should be.

But it will change under the Health and Social Care Bill.”

And indeed it will.

For further information of how the HSCB will affect YOU, please read “Frequently asked questions on the Health and Social Care Bill” and focus on

Q7: I had the impression that the reform was all about putting GPs in charge, which sounds like a good idea. Isn’t this the case?

A: No. Through their involvement in Clinical Commissioning Groups (CCGs), GPs will be acquiring new financial and legal responsibilities for balancing budgets and deciding whose care can be paid for and whose cannot, but they may well see a reduction in their professional autonomy rather than an increase. Specialist services will be provided for most patients through the Any Qualified Provider (AQP) process (identical to Any Willing Provider process used for commercial procurement in the EU and the USA). GPs initially believed that they would be able to help their patients navigate the system and arrange optimal care. However it turns out that any provision through AQP must be administered under competition laws, it is the rule of the patient alone to choose a provider. Because the GP is part of the system, it would distort competition between providers if GPs advised patients of which to choose – so they won’t be allowed to. Thus GPs will only gain workload and risk, and patients will be deprived of GPs know-how on which providers will be the most suitable.

So your care outside your GP practice will be in the hands of ANY Qualified Provider and not that of a specialist your GP knows and trusts. How will YOU know who to choose?

Would you send your child to ANY school or attempt to secure a place at a school that offered good education? Would you buy ANY car or one that you knew was roadworthy? Would you buy ANY house or one that you wanted to live in as it suited your needs? (Carry on the possibilities here your good self!)

Dr Kailash Chand is behind an e-petition to have the HSCB scrapped. It has 63,237 signatures at the time of writing and needs 100,000 before 16/05/12 to force a debate in Parliament. If you care about the NHS, please sign it – there is much to lose if you don’t.

Please email all you know and ask them to sign the petition and also forward “The frequently asked questions on the Health and Social Care Bill” too.

Cheers!

Anna :o]

Addendum: e-petition signatures at 11H05 today (Sunday) is 64,467! A thousand plus since yesterday! Keep signing folks and we will easily make 100,000! Don't forget to ask all you know to sign it, tweet it, whatever they can! Yay!

Aleksandr Nikolayevich Bakulev

2012-02-07T10:43:00.000Z

A grave, Novodevichy Cemetery, Moscow

A peasant boy

not content

to bow to circumstance,

no plough guided

by his steady hand

but that of scalpel blade,

Incision made

he opens up his mind

to medicine.

Art and science;

skills honed

on the scars of battlefield,

he becomes the surgeon.

The thoracic cavity,

a privilege to see within

what lies

beneath the human skin,

sternum sawn apart,

a pioneer,

he removes a growth,

repairs a heart.

The surgeon

not content

to bow to circumstance,

in death thrusts

forth his hands

grasps at the heart,

the heart of medicine.

Anna :o]

Tess’s prompt is that of a grave at Novodevichy Cemetery, Moscow. Research led me to the knowledge that Novodevichy is a very prestigious place to be buried in and that the grave is that of Aleksandr Bakulev.

I knew nothing of him so researched and discovered he was an eminent Russian surgeon and that the Bakulev Scientific Centre of Cardiovascular Surgery was founded by him.

Unfortunately it is difficult to find much about Aleksandr as all entries found were either the same or abridged versions of his life history described at the Russia-InfoCentre – that is apart from a brief description given at Wikipedia – you can click on via Novodevichy Cemetery.

Nevertheless – despite the brief history – his genius is obvious.

With thanks to Tess at The Mag for the inspiration.

Anna :o]

Submission

2012-01-30T09:20:00.000Z

Red Spot II, Wallisy Kandinsky

Almost complete erasure,

her very essence

almost lost between the layers

he crafts with fine precision.

Complete submission,

she becomes his masterpiece,

his Dorian Gray,

absorbs his unbridled anger.

Her blooded form

drips pigment on his palette,

becomes the red spot on his canvas,

she his unwilling lamb for slaughter.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at The Mag for the inspiration and also the good folk at The Poetry Pantry at Poets United.

Burns Supper

2012-01-25T23:55:00.000Z

Robert Burns

She fell in love upon first sight

Although indeed he knew this not

Her heart and soul he did excite

And at this supper and upon this night

Where honoured guest he did recite

The fine words of Rabbie Burns,

She hoped perchance she would catch his eye

And he entranced, her love would return.

He draws and cleans the knife

“His knife see rustic Labour dicht”

Plunges into haggis and cuts

“An' cut you up wi' ready slich”

She loves him so and distracted

By her deep emotion toys with the notion

That her love might not be unrequited,

For at the Toast To The Lasses

The men stand tall and raise their glasses

And he looks at her with recognition

As if he shares her intuition

That love is meant to be and he smiles,

And she now even more beguiled

Becomes a wee tim'rous beastie

Afraid he knows the thoughts within in her.

And much to her chagrin she blushes

Least he know that she is wanting.

Blood rushes from head to heart

And as she worships from afar

She begins to down the uisge beatha…

Ceremonies over, he walks to her table

His heart loved up for his mon amour,

And if he were able he would engage her,

But the silly Sassenach

Has downed too much whisky

And is on her back upon the floor.

He leaves her, this handsome brute,

His heart already broken,

His tears splash down and drown her with sorrow

And she racked with guilt

Was left with one blissful memory

For from the floor she could see up his kilt.

I was surprised to see that there was virtually nothing in blogland re Burns night as I tucked into my curried haggis and clapshot – yum yum! I cannot claim Scottish ancestry but do love haggis and the Bard.

A history of the Bard can be found here, details of a Burns Supper here and listen to a recitation of “To A Mouse” here.

Enjoy!

Anna :o]

With thanks to the good folk at dVerse~Poets Pub Open Night.

Milestones to Adulthood in the Netherlands and Slippery Slopes

2012-01-20T12:16:00.000Z

Compulsory education exists from 5-16. From the age of 16 to their 18^th birthday children are obliged to pursue at least part-time education.

The age of consent to sexual relations is 16.

Children cannot purchase tobacco products until the age of 16.

The minimum age to buy wine and beer is 16 and 18 to buy spirits and hard liquor. If a person is under 20 an identity card has to be shown before purchasing.

Children can enlist in the army at 17

Children cannot drive a vehicle until the age of 18.

Children cannot vote until the age of 18.

Children cannot marry until the age of 18, although they can with parental consent at age 16 and with permission from the queen if under 16.

The age of criminal responsibility is 12.

Termination of Life on Request and Assisted Suicide (Review Procedures) Act.

A patient of at least 12 years of age can request a termination of life (patients12-16 require the consent of their parents).

Slippery Slopes

Deliberate termination of life of newborns (involuntary euthanasia) with meningomyelocele (MMC) is practiced openly only in the Netherlands using the Groningen Protocol.

The Groningen Protocol is very controversial and as elicited papers such as ‘Deliberate termination of life of newborns with spina bifida, a critical reappraisal,” T.H. Rob de Jong (2007)

Isabel’s comment (Jan 19) to the previous post would suggest that the slippery slope exists here and that newborns – who fall outside the Groningen Protocol are terminated - and I have no doubt that it is does. I am certain that deliberate termination of life of newborns now covers more than those born with MMC and is unreported.

…………………………………………

It would be foolish of me to infer that the rest of the world is squeaky clean in regard to the termination of children deemed to be handicapped and not worthy of life – for abortion allows this. However is there a difference in terminating a life before or after birth? What do you think?

Do you think a child of twelve and above has the maturity to decide that their life should be terminated especially as the Termination of Life on Request and Assisted Suicide (Review Procedures) Act has been given more scope including ““mental and psychosocial ailments” such as “loss of function, loneliness and loss of autonomy” as acceptable criteria for euthanasia. The guidelines also allow doctors to connect a patient’s lack of “social skills, financial resources and a social network” to “unbearable and lasting suffering,” opening the door to legal assisted death based on “psychosocial” factors, not terminal illness. The June 2011 position paper, titled “The Role of the Physician in the Voluntary Termination of Life” concludes that the “concept of suffering” is “broader” than its “interpretation and application by many physicians today.”

Included in a broader interpretation of suffering would be “disorders affecting vision, hearing and mobility, falls, confinement to bed, fatigue, exhaustion and loss of fitness,” according to the authors.

“The patient perceives the suffering as interminable, his existence as meaningless and—though not directly in danger of dying from these complaints—neither wishes to experience them nor, insofar as his history and own values permit, to derive meaning from them,” explains the KNMG position paper.

“In the KNMG’s view, such cases are sufficiently linked to the medical domain to permit a physician to act within the confines of the Euthanasia Law.”

“It doesn’t always have to be a physical ailment, it could be the onset of dementia or chronic psychological problems, it’s still unbearable and lasting suffering. It doesn’t always have to be a terminal disease,” said Dr. Nieuwenhuijzen Kruseman, Chairman of KNMG to Radio Netherlands Worldwide.”

Anna :o]

PS Can't 'understand' the sudden white background - blogs or me?

Assisted Suicides and Slippery Slopes

2012-01-14T02:26:00.000Z

Termination of Life on Request and Assisted Suicide (Review Procedures) Act” (2002

Euthanasia and physician assisted suicide in the

Netherlands

is regulated by the above act. Patients must meet specific criteria in that the patient has a terminal illness and requests (and this must be persistent and over time) a termination of life, has not been influenced by others, the patients suffering is unbearable and hopeless, the patient has been informed of and refused all possible alternatives (including treatment), has received the consultation of two physicians and has been made aware of the applied method of ending life.

However The Royal Dutch Medical Association has now released new guidelines widening the interpretation of the Act to include: ““mental and psychosocial ailments” such as “loss of function, loneliness and loss of autonomy” as acceptable criteria for euthanasia. The guidelines also allow doctors to connect a patient’s lack of “social skills, financial resources and a social network” to “unbearable and lasting suffering,” opening the door to legal assisted death based on “psychosocial” factors, not terminal illness.

” The June 2011 position paper, titled “The Role of the Physician in the Voluntary Termination of Life” concludes that the “concept of suffering” is “broader” than its “interpretation and application by many physicians today.”

“Alex Schadenberg, Executive Director and International Chair of the Euthanasia Prevention Coalition committee responded to the new guidelines, saying that in his view “the expansion of euthanasia and assisted suicide has been constant and deliberate.”

Schadenberg warned that what has happened in the Netherlands can—and will—occur in other jurisdictions, if euthanasia and/or assisted suicide is legalized.

When the Netherlands sanctioned euthanasia for emotionally ill patients in 1994, Karl Gunning, head of the Dutch Doctors’ Union warned the country of the “slippery slope” it was sliding down.

“We have always predicted that once you start looking at killing as a means to solve problems, then you’ll find more and more problems where killing can be the solution,” he said.”

Charles Falconer’s ‘Commission on Assisted Dying’ (5.1.2012)

has concluded that there is a strong case for legalisation of ‘Assisted Dying’ and those that have twelve months or less to live should be allowed to end their own life/commit suicide.

The document is here - it is a lengthy document – some 415 pages – and I have not read it all. To summarise, the document suggests that to be eligible patients must be over eighteen years of age with a diagnosed terminal illness and less that twelve months to live, has made a voluntary choice and not been influenced by others, has mental capacity to make an informed choice and their decision making ability is not impaired by mental health problems such as depression, the patient is fully assessed to determine eligibility by at least two independent doctors, made aware of all options for treatment, care and support and still wishes to proceed and must be capable of administering the lethal medication themselves.

Author Sir Terry Pratchett (who jointly funded the so-called independent report) has stated that the report does not go far enough.

It is of a course a recommendation and there is no likelihood of ‘Assisted Dying’ becoming enshrined in law – yet. Are we following the history of the Netherlands where certain assisted suicides became permissible in the 1980s, as in the need to

clarify assisted suicide in 2009 in the UK?

The seeds for acceptance of legalised suicide are being sown, slowly but surely. Lord Joffe has made four attempts during 2003-6 to introduce bills to legalise suicide and all were rejected by parliament. Margo MacDonald’s “End of Life Assistance Bill” was rejected by the Scottish Parliament in 2010.

The drip, drip, drip is leading to a softening of opinion, indeed a “YouGov" poll commissioned by Sky News found 69% believe the law should be changed, compared to 17% who want it to stay the same and 14% who do not know.”

It is a fact that I understand that some of those suffering a terminal illness experience unimaginable pain and welcome death to alleviate this suffering – indeed when my own father was dying in such circumstances – initially I prayed (selfishly) to his God that he might live and upon realisation of his suffering prayed that he would die – quickly. In hindsight – I wish to God that the Liverpool Care Pathway (LCP) existed then.

However – as those that have read previous posts will know – I have great reservations regarding the LCP. Its admirable origins are firmly placed in alleviating the suffering of cancer patients diagnosed to be in the process of dying and yet its tendrils have spread to encompass all diagnosed (or thought to be) near death. It is my opinion that the slippery slope exists here already and I know of occasions where it was initiated inappropriately. To me the declaration that “The LCP is only as good as the people who are using it” is an acceptance that mistakes are made – for indeed the LCP is assisted dying.

During research I found myself confused as to what my true opinions/beliefs were, for as said I witnessed the awful slow painful death of my father and witnessed the same in residents in my home – this prior to the LCP – and then I have seen those diagnosed as near death living for years after.

I guess my epiphany was found at the Christian Medical Comment for I found much solace, much wisdom here – and I would stress that there is no conflict of interest as I am an atheist – and I thank Dr Peter Saunders for his communication – please read his wise posts on euthanasia.

I am concerned that assisted suicide will in the future be legalised in the UK – I am certain that it will (in time) – for just as the slippery slope exists in the Netherlands – it surely will happen here.

Before I sign off – please view this Dutch doctor’s experience as the agent of death and consider that she states that she has no problems with assisted suicide and yet it emotionally affects her.

What say you on assisted suicide?

Anna :o]

Links: http://witchdoctor.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/the-atheist-humanist-predicament-or-not/

http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/the_new_year_should_begin_by_saving_lives_not_killing_them

PS Had great difficulty creating links here - the post developed a mind of its own - also messiness in its format and structure - can't correct it!

Lonely City

2012-01-08T16:59:00.002Z

Night sounds

Invade my solitude

And whip up wild imaginings.

No friendly chirp

Of cricket here

Or flirtatious croak

Of frog

But war drums

Of my beating heart

And panic supersedes

Rational thought...

Where are you?

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales and the good folk at the The Poetry Pantry at Poets United.

Anna :o]

In Praise of Psychiatric Services? (2)

2011-12-29T16:40:00.001Z

Dr Rant

I’ve just tried to change my password to ‘Community Mental Health Team’ but Facebook said: contains too many useless characters. (Facebook 16/12/11)

Sorry Community Mental Health Teams (CMHTs) – I find this to be true – well certainly in my neck of the woods. God help the unfortunate soul who experiences an exacerbation of mental health ‘ishoos’ while residing in social care for they are truly lost!

I have written about this before and unfortunately nothing has changed. The CMHT completely ignore us (staff) in that they do not seek our input, our knowledge and our concerns. Liaison – what’s that? Do they consult the referring GP (?) – I tend to think not (and indeed sometimes know) as GPs are equally frustrated re the lack of communication and cooperation between ‘colleagues’ and that (wrong) decisions are made (by the CMHT) after a thirty minute interview with the poor resident in question.

Ted entered our home some five years ago – he does not have any problems related to memory but that of depression and apathy which has dogged him since a traumatic incident in early adulthood. He is isolated due to social anxiety which increases his depression and feelings of hopelessness and low self-worth.

This has been his life for nigh on thirty years and increasing apathy, hopelessness led to Ted being at high risk of self-neglect and increasingly vulnerable to those in society who ‘befriend’ him and rob him of his benefits and thus him becoming a welcome resident of our home. Our home is now his home. (It is Ted's home - I/we have the privilege of working there!)

For some time Ted has become reflective re his personal situation and this in itself has led to a deeper depression (‘I am worthless’) and as he is comfortable in his home he is also able to express anger (‘I am useless!’) both verbally and physically (as in punching inanimate objects and destroying his own personal effects).

Ted has – for the first time – begun to self-harm. He also exhibits behaviours that some might construe as sexual in nature – but to me (and I have discussed this with him) are an expression of his need to be loved and reverting to babyhood and the intervention required is to him, proof of caring.

Ted’s GP referred him to psychiatric services requesting the input of a psychiatrist. In turn, said psychiatrist did not see Ted rather placing Ted’s future in the hands of the CMHT. What is the purpose of the CMHT? A CMHT meets the needs of people with mental health problems who don’t need a psychiatrist.

So it needs to be asked: Does this little collusion of anonymity (psychiatrist and CMHT) have an agenda? Why is the GP referral of secondary importance to that of the CMHT – who make their decisions based on a thirty minute interview without liaising with other interested professionals who know Ted?

The CMHT in their wisdom decided that Ted did not need to see a psychiatrist. This decision – to Ted – was further evidence of his unimportance (‘Why is no-one interested in me?’).

Ted’s continued and deepening depression began to compromise his physical health in that he ceased to eat and had poor fluid intake causing an electrolyte imbalance which led to problems and the need for medication to counteract this.

Ted’s GP, who had long realised that Ted’s needs were beyond his expertise again contacted psychiatric services, pressing for the input of a psychiatrist and again this led to a swoop by the CMHT, who again decided that Ted did not need to be seen by a psychiatrist?

Six months ago, near death (malnutrition and dehydration), Ted was hospitalised. He was at this time (finally) seen by a psychiatrist and when strong enough was transferred to a psychiatric hospital to treat his depression!

The psychiatrist contacted the home for a history of Ted and requested our thoughts – something the CMHT (and indeed the psychiatrist prior to this) did not!

It appears to me that the little collusion of anonymity ensured Ted paid a high cost both physically and mentally by denying him access to a psychiatrist – but that is what collusion of anonymity is all about – bouncing patients back and forth from one specialist/discipline to another with nobody taking responsibility for the patient as a person.

Ted is a person.

Before I close I would like to assure those who exist in CMHTs that this is a specific post to experiences in my neck of the woods and is not a gross generalisation of all. I am sure that team members offer a vital hand to those in the community who do not need to see a psychiatrist.

Why do psychiatrists not take heed of GPs here? Why in these instances are decisions left to CMHTs as to whether a patient requires the input of a psychiatrist – why does the psychiatrist not see the patient and make the decision him or herself? Just wondering, that’s all…

What say you?

Anna :o]

Winter Feasts

2011-12-19T08:12:00.001Z

Stripped bare

By autumns theft,

Skeletal now

Her frigid branches

Ache

To touch the warmth

Of rising Sol.

Dormouse, dormant

Curled deep

In winters sleep

Scratched out by

Hungry Fox.

Opportunist he,

He watches waiting

As Redbreast bobs

Through evergreen

Bearing

Seasons berries.

And distracted by

Her luscious feast of

Rich red rubies

Becomes easy fare

Feathers

On his winter table.

Jingle Poetry at Gooseberry Gardens prompt is: Snow, December, Winter Vacations and Wildness.

Also posted re The Poetry Pantry # 80 at Poets United.

I must admit to being lazy and ~~greatly~~ slightly unprepared for Christmas, hence I have taken the easy way out and stolen an earlier (written in May) post from t’other much neglected blog (Puzzelicious).

Merry Christmas folks!

Anna :o]

Change

2011-12-12T09:26:00.001Z

Image by Mostafa Habibi

The boat,

the means of escape

is there.

He could easily

step aboard,

cast off, set sail

and once afloat,

be free, unburdened.

Does he?

No.

He could go

yet always procrastinates,

always finds a ‘but’,

an ‘I can’t’

or ‘I’d better wait’

and buries himself

deeper

in the sand.

He could go,

could leave the land,

but won’t cast off the burden

of his self-made anchor,

his self-made shackle.

He will stay stuck,

he does not want

the uncertainty

that change might bring.

He will stay stuck,

remain the landsman

while gazing

longingly out to sea,

wondering,

“What if… …”

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration.

Anna :o]

the cockroach catcher

2011-12-11T15:37:00.001Z

‘The ability to dissect out a full set of cockroach salivary glands was a prerequisite requirement for medical school entrance in Hong Kong in our days.’

I purchased Dr Am Ang Zhangs’ book last November and placed it at the bottom of my ‘to read’ pile – I should not have done so.

Holidaying earlier this year – I decided that ‘the cockroach catcher’ would be my holiday read (even though it was still only half way up the pile) – it was a good decision.

Am Ang takes you on a fine journey from his poor beginnings in China to his education in Hong Kong, his life and experience at medical school, his decision to enter psychiatry leading to a post as registrar at The Tavistock Clinic and to his role as a consultant paediatric psychiatrist within the NHS (and many interesting places in between).

Dr Zhang had a common sense approach to the children in his care, intuitively finding the answer to their problems, cases ranging from sleep and toileting problems to those of anorexia, autism and psychosis - although towards the end of his career, red tape and ‘guidelines’ were to impact on his practice.

His book also gives insight as to how we as parents may influence the mental health of our children and how childhood is being medicalised when behaviours are due to lack of parental authority and/or guidance and are not psychiatric illness at all.

Although the back cover summary describes the book as a work of fiction, the contents are based on a good and a very real doctors’ journey through medicine. It is a must read for all those either working in medicine or interested in child psychiatry and indeed childhood itself, and an invaluable read for parents who have concerns regarding their children’s mental health.

It is a fascinating well penned book with references documented in the footnotes and is available from Amazon. Visit the cockroach catcher here

Anna :o]

Freedom Of Speech?

2011-12-05T09:23:00.001Z

Lunch, George Tooker (1964),
Columbus Museum of Art

When first viewing the fine painting opposite, there was not immediate inspiration and then I noticed the fellow at the bottom right hand corner. Now he stands out as he appears to be thinking, whereas his colleagues appear to be to be lost in some awful blandness.

Viewing this scene reminded me of a post I had not long read at Bad Medicine and inspired, I wrote the below:

He Thinks

He thinks,

Therefore

He exists outside

The comfort zone

In which reside

Those who do not

Bend the rules,

Instead becoming

Slavish fools

To the dictates of those

Who profess to lead,

Control his every

Thought and deed.

He fights the system,

Will not conform,

Will not obey,

Become the norm,

Become a slavish automaton,

Where

Individuality is frowned upon

And freewill is all but gone.

………………………………

For those of you who do not read medical blogs, please visit BadMed and read Dr No’s post. It deals with the aftermath of a particular ‘incident’ – I am not going to re-open an old wound, so visit blogs mentioned there and discover – which has led to a suppression of free speech.

You may notice that the majority of medibloggers in the UK do so anonymously and may wonder why this is. Doctors are regulated by the General Medical Council (GMC), once led by the medical profession itself, but now a Government Quango and doctors are now very much policed. In September the GMC held a poll in which opinion was sought as to whether the GMC should regulate doctors’ lives outside medicine. How’s that for future policing?

Such is the power of the GMC, where independent thought is frowned upon, that doctors feel the need, the safety net of anonymous blogging.

Why do I blog anonymously? For exactly the same reason, I love my job yet feel – quite strongly at times – that decisions are made (within the NHS); protocols initiated which actually harm patients. I have a right, an individual freedom to say so, yet if I blogged under my own name – the nursing regulatory body (NMC) would consider I was bringing my profession into disrepute.

Fear is the driver of anonymous blogging. Fear of losing ones livelihood.

We applaud those brave souls who have fought for their freedom in the Arab Spring, yet at the same time are allowing our own freedom to be eroded. Independent thinkers are being gagged and the gag is becoming tighter. As illustrated in Dr No’s post – we are even gagging ourselves.

This erosion of freedom, the freedom to think for ones self is being eroded everywhere. Look closely into aspects of your own lives, notice changes and be afraid, very afraid!

Anna: o]

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration.

***8/12/11 Interesting or worrying that the link to the GMC poll finds the page not found. I wonder why that is then?*** (Link reestablished)

Red Sofa

2011-11-28T08:55:00.001Z

photo: Christine Donnier-Valentin

I see you abandoned,

Now a street dweller,

As am I.

You offer respite,

A resting place

For this footsore

World weary wanderer.

I will sit a while.

I remember home.

Brick walls

Rendered warm

With paint and plaster.

Suzanne,

She and I

Made love

On one such as you,

Half-buried,

Deep in plump

Plush red cushions,

Candles flickered

Casting

Dancing shadows overhead,

Watching as we climaxed

In those wondrous moments.

Suzanne, I did love her so,

Even as I took another

Born in fields of tangled vine.

She, the other,

Gave me succour,

Gives me succour,

Lets me sip her sweet red wine.

Rested,

I will leave you now,

Discard my memories.

Pockets jangle,

Stuffed full

With buried treasure,

Pennies buried,

Laid long forgotten

Deep within your gaping innards,

Mined greedily by my hungry hands.

I will court

My waiting lover,

Buy her wares,

My ladylove

Resting in her bottle,

Suck hard

At her cold hard nipple

As she loves me,

Gives me succour,

Lets me sip,

Lets me taste

Her sweet red wine.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration.

Where Are All These Obese Women?

2011-11-27T01:55:00.001Z

The media reported yesterday that the UK has the highest proportion of obese woman and the second highest proportion of obese men in Europe. It would appear that nearly a quarter (23.9%) of British women is obese as are 22.1% of men.

What I want to know is where the hell they are all hiding?

Logic would suggest that at least two (20%) out of every ten woman I know are clinically obese, and forgive me obese folk, obese is big, not overweight, big and I would notice – but I don’t because they are just not there (as in 20%)! That said, I do know (and like) obese women, but totting up family members, friends and colleagues, obese women total 9.5% and overweight women 4.7%. (I am overweight but have not included myself in this total – although that said I wear size 16 clothing which would suggest I am not overweight, yet my BMI suggests I am, and damn it I know I am!).

These figures (of course) only relate to my little circle of female comrades, whether they are family, friends or colleagues and are therefore not a true representation of female fattiness countrywide. Yet, my wanderings in the mean streets of the city do not thrust this large population of large women in my face – I would notice – so yet again I would ask – where the hell they are all hiding?

I don’t trust stats and these stats are based on this report from the European Health Interview Survey. The UK figures are based on this Health Survey for

England

, 2009 which clearly states in Main Topics that “The HSE 2009 was a short survey with a relatively small sample size….”

The questionnaire is here (pdf). Scroll down to pages 44-8 which deal with height and weight and notice that reasons for refusal (to be weighed) are part of the questionnaire.

So assuming that some will refuse to be weighed - and are not excluded from the survey (guesstimates used?) - the outcome must be slewed. Whatever the case, this admitted small sample size has been extrapolated to reach a desired outcome? And, and this is an important and, when this cross-section of the general public were chosen randomly to represent a true cross-section of the general public, how could ‘they’ know that this random selection did not include a disproportionate amount of obese people?

I will muse on the above while I eat enormous amounts of chocolate (don’t like it very much really) as I exercise by wiggling my toes.

Where are they all hiding?

(On a serious note, I do understand and appreciate that obesity is associated with many health problems and is not really recommended as a ‘lifestyle’.)

Anna :o]

PS I don't know why there are strange gaps in the first paragraph - but I can't correct. Maybe because my beloved comp is still not well?

10 Seconds

2011-11-23T14:23:00.001Z

This (now amended) poem was first published on Poetry 24. (Thanks Clare and Martin!) Please visit Poetry 24 and contribute if you can.

The poem deals with the murder of Stephen Lawrence.

10 Seconds

Strength in numbers,

base mentality,

oh brave men they,

sick to the core,

they surround the enemy,

black face marks

his victim status;

Easy prey,

they pounce

(strength in numbers),

a punch, a kick, a knife,

that’s all it takes to snuff

a life.

He escapes,

runs for his life,

unaware that death

now lives within him,

He falls, bleeds,

heart stops,

life ceases.

Strength in numbers,

base mentality,

they watch him

flee and fall.

Disinterested,

they leave,

as casually as they killed.

Link: Stephen Lawrence killed in ten seconds

Anna :o]

For those of you who do not live in the UK, please read the history here at Wikipedia.

For today's reporting please see this article in The Telegraph.

Let us hope that at this trial, Stephens family finally see justice done.

With kind thanks to the good folk at dVerse ~ Poets Pub for providing the opportunity to publish again.

Mmmm, mega PC problems, hence post a bit of a mish-mash. Apologies!

Hanging The Elderly Demented Out To Dry and Jailing GPs

2011-11-12T22:51:00.001Z

Jim couldn’t work a damn thing out. Bar that he was lying in a strange bed, he understood not a thing. He was overwhelmed by panic, his heart thumping away in his chest he pulled himself up and sat on the side of the bed. Christ, he was so damn stiff, his bones ached as how he imagined an old mans would. ‘Jesus Christ, my hands!’ He raised them up to just below eye level and turned them round slowly not believing what he saw and horror struck at the heart of him. They were not his hands! They were old mans hands – just like his granddads, all wrinkled with parchment thin skin and littered with age spots. His terror increased.

He was distracted by a noise and turned his head and saw two large black dogs (rottweilers, he thought) pacing and snarling underneath the curtained window. They stopped and returned his gaze, (oh what penetrating evil eyes they have) lips curled as they bared their teeth, saliva drooling from their ugly mouths as they moved menacingly towards him. “HELP!” he screamed at the top of this voice, “HELP ME!”

Two kids, teenagers maybe, entered and he thought that perhaps he should recognise them, but he didn’t. A new kind of panic took over as he desperately attempted to complete the jigsaw in his mind. ‘Are they my kids? Do I have kids? I can’t remember! I can’t remember! I’m sure I do! I don’t know! I don’t know!’

“How can we help you Jim?” the girl asked. He didn’t know what she was talking about. ‘She called me Jim. Why would she call me Jim? Who is she? Should I know her? I’m not Jim to youngsters – I’m Mr Conway!’ “Jim, are you alright?” Her familiarity enraged and frightened him and he punched her in the stomach. “Jim, I’m just trying to help you!” He attempted to punch her again – but she moved away as the young lad held his arm saying “No Jim, No!” “We’ll come back in a few minutes and help you get dressed.”

It seemed to Jim that time had passed so quickly that they had returned before they had even left. “C’mon Jim, we’ll help you get ready,” the girl said kindly as she sat on the bed beside him and began to unbutton his pyjama top. “I can do it myself!” he seethed as he angrily elbowed her away. “Okay Jim. Okay.” ‘My damn fingers won’t work; I can’t undo my own damn pyjama buttons! Oh my God what is wrong with me?’ He was so damned angry and so damned upset that he could feel that great big lump in his throat and tears welled in his eyes, he hit, kicked and punched as he attempted to cope with the emotions that had welled up inside of him

“We’ll have to change him,” he heard the young lad say; “We can’t leave him like that.” “I know,” the girl said. All of a sudden there were three kids in his room and they stood him up saying stuff that he wasn’t even listening to any more as he was just trying to make sense of everything. Next thing he knew they were pulling his pyjama bottoms down. ‘Oh Dear God, kids are pulling my pants down!’ He tried to defend himself as best as he could, kicking, punching, biting, elbowing as he screeched “Get off me you f*****g c***s!”

He was suddenly aware of the familiar smell of faeces and looked down. ‘Oh my God, I’m wearing a bloody nappy and I’ve shit myself, I’ve bloody shit myself! He was mortified with embarrassment and kicked and punched and elbowed the young kids, hoping to God they would go away as he was so deeply ashamed….

Jim couldn’t work a damn thing out. Bar that he was sitting (with his breakfast in front of him) at a strange table in a strange room filled with strange people, he understood not a thing. He was overwhelmed by panic, his heart thumping away in his chest and he was certain, yes quite certain, that he should be at work now.

Next to him sat a very old lady, God she was making a noise eating and food was spilling out of her mouth. “Will you SHUT UP?” Jim said angrily. She ignored him. “Will you SHUT UP!” he repeated. She ignored him. He stood up and angrily brought his cup down on the crown of her head. She shut up.

He noticed two dogs (rottweilers, he thought) glaring at him from across the room. They stood up and moved towards him. “HELP!” he screamed, “HELP ME!”

There is no way no way on earth that I can say with certainty that this is the thought process of those with dementia who are suffering from psychosis. It is merely an observation of those that do and I do so try to understand. I often think (when I do my hourly checks at work) that sleep is the only time that these unfortunate souls are at peace.

I like to think I do understand. Decades ago I had a viral infection that attacked my brain. I had short term memory problems and often couldn’t complete a sentence as I had forgotten what I was talking about, I had visual hallucinations, altered taste (everything tasted of either cardboard or soap – although I have never ate either!), double vision resulting in difficulties in spatial awareness and I often used to (literally) walk round in circles, murderous intent and many other symptoms.

However I did have one thing that those with dementia do not, and that is insight. I suppose I must be quite weird as I found the whole thing fascinating, that is, apart from the murderous intent which quite concerned me.

It is said that prescribing antipsychotics to those with dementia that are psychotic reduces life span and that they are over prescribed and reductions in prescribing should be made. It is now proposed that GPs who prescribe antipsychotics without permission from PCTs should be jailed, yes jailed!

I know that some GPs think that nursing home staff is lazy in that they don’t one-to-one folk like Jim as if somehow this intervention could miraculously cure psychosis (as Jim in his highly demented state would suddenly be capable of reason). Tell me docs – does this intervention work with younger folk who are psychotic – or are they ‘sectioned’ in their best interests and prescribed antipsychotics?

Please come and work a day in our home and show us how it is done or spend a day with a family who are trying to cope with their elderly demented psychotic relative in the community. Please show us how!

Fortunately most GPs don’t think like this and understand Jims needs, yet with the ‘climate’ being as it is will not, are afraid to prescribe antipsychotics and instead refer to Psychiatric Services – which may take weeks. Jim if he was younger would be ‘sectioned’ and receive immediate care and relief of his symptoms. So Jim is neglected and abused by the system as he is old.

There is a current ‘rumour’ going round that pain relief is just as effective in calming poor demented, psychotic Jims! As Jim takes 1G of Paracetamol q.d.s. (plus other analgesia) I think he would like to see the evidence! I would like to see the evidence!

One of the shining lights to me in GP land is Copperfield and I have sung his praise before! (Copperfield is in fact two GPs.) Read him here and here.

I know I have ranted on folks and I am sorry, but as I said in my previous post on this matter – I would rather (if demented and psychotic) prefer to live for five years with a certain quality to my life than live seven years of sheer hell. I love my residents and it screws me up to see them suffering.

What say you?

Anna :o]

PS Apologies for the tiny writing in second part - didn't show like this until published. Failed experiment! (Also don't know how to place tabs on this exciting new dashboard!)

Lest We Forget

2011-11-11T00:14:00.001Z

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved, and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

John McCrae, 1915

The horrific trenches in Flanders Fields were the site of around half a million deaths of soldiers (French, English, Belgian and German) in WWI. The majority of soldiers who perished were the victims of the deadly gas Yperite which was invented in the nearby city of Ypres - a city almost destroyed in WWI. Visit the Flanders Fields museum in Ypres (if you can), and discover the horror and hopelessness of being a soldier in the trenches.

On Remembrance Day we pay homage to all those who have died in battle, we hold our silence on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month (Armistice Day). The admonition ‘Lest we forget’ was based on the hope that remembering the terrible human cost of military conflict (both military and civilian) we would learn and never walk that path again.

We have not learned and probably never will. The very nature of humankind leads us to war. It is my hope and belief that most warfare (in which we are the defender) is justified in that we seek to fight injustice the world over. We cannot sit back comfortably while others are subject to man’s inhumanity to man.

First They Came

First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me

Attributed to Pastor Martin Niemoller.

We must always speak out, always fight wrongs, for if not we are lost.

We must always remember, always remember those who laid down their life for our freedom. Remembrance Day does not glorify war nor is it a celebration for there is nothing glorious about war; war is a sad indictment that at base level we are still very much in our infancy, we have far to go before we reach our adulthood.

Hopefully one day, the white poppy of peace will supersede the need to remember lives in the form of red poppies worn today, red poppies that are true to the colour of blood spent on distant battle fields. Until then, we must honour our dead, must always remember those who laid down their lives for our freedom. Always remember, always, for if not they died in vain.

Anna

The Betrayal

2011-11-08T08:45:00.001Z

You lie there safe
Resting in your final slumber,
Buried
With your filthy secrets.

Revered are you,
Homage paid by those
Who have not notion
Of evil hidden under Holy Orders.

Why does God
Protect you even now,
Lying in your silken casket,
Dark heart no longer beating,
Yet still pulsating into mine?

Little lambs lie after lights out,
Begging Sweet Jesus
"Please let it not be me."
Dorm door swings open,
Cassock flowing, heavy breathing,
Excited,
He selects his victim.
Child cries out
"My God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Secrets lie deep with me,
Secrets that I dare not tell,
Your evil still resides within me,
I hope to God you rot in Hell.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration

Leaving

2011-10-30T00:50:00.000+01:00

You whisper softly,

I shush your lips,

Brush your frown

Into a smile,

Beg you not to leave

“Please stay a while?”

You slowly raise your hand,

Fingers caress my cheek,

Eyes plead with me

To let you speak

“I love you forever”

You say as you drift away,

I plead with you,

Beg you to stay.

My love, my love

I will always grieve thee

And if you truly loved me

Why did you leave me?

Anna :o]

With thanks to Claudia at dVerse Poets Pub for the inspiration

Set In Stone

2011-10-27T23:49:00.002+01:00

She sits moon gazing,

hand wringing

of what might have been,

what might have been

had she not dismissed him

petulantly,

petulantly

she snuffs out the candle,

whispering incantations

to her devil,

her devil of desire.

Lost,

She lusts for love,

love long lost.

Alone

she longs for company.

Elsewhere

the mason carves his stone,

sculpts out his vision

where all

angry voices scream out,

scream out in hell.

Done and satisfied,

he lies down,

lies down

imagining
his next commission.

She sits

her future carved out in stone;

now angry voices

dismiss her every thought,

her head filled with thoughts,

thoughts of what might have been,

had she not wished for company,

company that will now

not leave her mind,

voices scream out

in her eternal hell;
she lies down

and swallows

small stone white tablets….

The mason carves out her stone,

strong sense of déjà vu;

he lies down and wonders

who she might have been
as he gazes at the moon.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Emmett at dVerse Poets Pub, Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft - Conflation for the inspiration.

PS Not quite sure if this attempt represents conflation as I got a bit carried away!

Dead Through Prayer?

2011-10-22T03:29:00.001+01:00

Hey Mother F****r

don’t be no sucker,

don’t take those pills

they won’t cure no ills,

the Lord will save ya,

not enslave ya

t’medicine,

medicine kills,

cures no ills!

No frills Mother F****r,

don’t be a sucker,

medicine kills.

HIV,

now listen to me,

don’t need no drug ya,

the Lord will hug ya,

set you free

from HIV,

don’t despair,

power in prayer!

Cancer,

don’t be no dancer

to the doctors meds,

they’ll leave you dead,

listen to the Lord,

be in one accord,

he’ll provide the answer,

don’t be no dancer

to the doctors meds,

don’t despair,

power in prayer!

Get in ya head ya,

that you’ll be dead ya,

‘less you pray to the Lord,

be in accord

with the prophet

T.B. Joshua,

it wont wash wi’ ya

that he aint

the right hand of

God.

It was while browsing through the internet that this article came to my attention and inspired me to make my poor attempt at rap. – believe me I hate rap – but there is no racist undertones here as I hate brass bands with equal ferocity – and you may like to visit Joshua’s ?excellent website here and realise what a ‘Saviour’ he is. Lord free me from charlatans!

What you make of it is up to you!

Anna :o]

Daddy's Special Angel

2011-10-17T02:12:00.011+01:00

I want to scream out

Yet

I cannot tell,

I shall not tell,

I shall keep

our little secret

locked away.

No need

to search the room

for hidden monsters

before

one little frightened finger

clicks off the light,

I do not need

to find my monster

for he finds me

cowering

like some tiny frightened puppy

quivering

underneath the trembling blankets.

Oh how I long for cold,

this tiny body shivering

without
your unwelcome warmth.

(I do not want your special hugs

For daddy’s special angel).

Please, please, please

leave me alone.

I shall keep our secret,

I shall speak no evil

for there are those

who refuse to hear it,

refuse to see it.

Silently
screaming

I shall keep our little secret.

I shall speak no evil.

(Please, please, please
leave me alone).

Anna :o]

This poem is not about me - as far as I know my father never abused me - he was a good dad who took me fishing for eels, got me interested in literature and all that was a natural part of childhood, as I matured he was not afraid to show me his frailities and let me know the real him. I loved him as much and as completely as I loved my mother.

It is probably true that if he and my mother had not brought out my strength, some self serving counsellor (with their ego firmly stuck up their own backside) could have 'recovered' memories of my fathers abuse and that of next doors cat.

This is not to say that I do not believe that sexual abuse in families does not exist - for it surely does. As well as listening to stories from young(er) individuals - both male but predominately female - I have listened to the pleading cries of a ninety-year old (during interventions) - pleading with her father to 'leave her alone.'

With thanks to the good folk at dVerse poets for the inspiration.

Neglect of the Elderly (2) and Prevailing Attitudes....

2011-10-16T11:21:00.006+01:00

I woke up this morning, cleared the sleep from my eyes, turned on the comp and read with interest Dr Phil's and the good Witch Doctor's posts on the recent CQC report and my thoughts returned to an excellent comment left by a&e charge nurse at Dr No’s Bad Medicine in which he states ‘The tradition of elder abuse is well established in our culture - for example, many do not even have the wherewithal to eat properly, or heat their home in cold weather.

Isn't this report the same old lament we heard 10 years ago, and 10 years before that - if nothing has substantially changed then one has to assume, however painful it might be for us to accept, oldies are not loved sufficiently to receive the sort of service that would undoubtedly cost a lot more than we are presently paying’.

Sadly a&e charge nurse is spot on for the elderly are much maligned, much ignored and the ready butt of jokes in this society we presently exist in. I was reminded of a recent event (whilst on holiday) when the resident comedian – as in paid entertainer – pounced on a trio of very elderly patrons who entered his domain and ridiculed them with no thought on how his disparaging remarks would hurt and humiliate them. (I think it is a common belief that those who are frail of body are also frail of mind and therefore it is okay to ridicule, ignore and talk over them – for what does it matter as they are just old and are an unwanted burden on society and not worthy of respect).

Dr Phil’s anecdotal story relating to his grandfather also reminded me of the appalling care my (long since deceased) well demented mother experienced during hospital admissions.

I guess I was the interfering, pain-in-the-arse relative when I requested that she should not be nursed on her right side (pressure damage would surely ensue), be supported if sitting in a chair otherwise she would fall off as she could not maintain her position, need to be assisted with eating and drinking (as she couldn’t do this herself), was diabetic etc.

However these requests (of basic and necessary interventions) were not carried out and after all but one admission, letters of complaints regarding her (lack of) care were sent to those who attempt to appease but don’t care at all.

Her catalogue of harm (whilst in hospital) listed a non-diabetic diet (although it is probable that she did not receive many meals unless I was there to feed her as quite dramatic weight loss was always a dominant feature of her admissions), a dry, crusty mouth (“No we don’t do mouth care here – give her some of her water”), pressure damage, many small haematomas on her palm (where her fisted hand had become trapped in the cot side), black eyes (after she had ‘slipped’ off her chair – “No nurse, wrong place to have injuries if you slip off – she fell off as she wasn’t supported despite me informing you this was necessary!”) and so on into infinity.

Her final admission (of four days) was when it was obvious to all that she was in the process of dying and was breathing with her whole body – she was now in end stage dementia. On her last night, I visited her in hospital (before I commenced my night shift) and it was obvious to me that this was part of her last twenty-four hours. I informed the nurse in charge that I would go to work and sort out immediate cover (for myself) and requested they ring me immediately when she entered her ‘final hours’ and I would come straight there (if not already there).

Three hours later my cover had arrived and I phoned the hospital to inform I was coming in and to ask how she was and was informed that they ‘hadn’t looked at her yet' as they had just finished the handover (this was two hours after their handover) and they would go and ‘look at her.’ She was dead. On my visit to my now dead mother I was informed that someone had sat with her all the time after I had left – what lies, what awful damned lies.

I guess the point of my story is to illustrate that inadequate staffing levels (so much more damaging when the skill mix is wrong) are an important factor in the neglect of the elderly as in all cases inadequate staffing levels were evident on my mum’s admissions. Nurses (of the qualified variety) were stretched and rushed off their feet and showed impatience with me when I asked questions, and I can understand this impatience as I was yet another unwanted diversion from the required (and often life saving) tasks in hand.

Importantly, we must also ask ourselves why medical wards (which house mostly elderly patients) are so grossly understaffed despite I am sure, requests from nurses to those who manage in the higher echelons (and don’t care) for at the very least adequate staffing levels Here I would pick up on The Witch Doctors post, and beg consultants to look at the whole picture and not swallow the only too convenient prevailing belief that ‘Nurses are too posh to wash’ for if you do you are surely colluding with management.

We must also take a long and good hard look at attitudes towards the elderly and develop the mindset, the understanding and the damned truth and realisation that we will all be old one day.

When I interview prospective new carers at work I am uninterested in them as potential carers unless they answer questions in the way I want. One of the questions is “when you look at a resident and think about how you would care for them – who would you think of?’ Mostly the replies are of “My gran/granddad” or “My mum/dad” and this is the right answer yet I take it further in that I suggest that they think of the resident as themselves and ask themselves “How would I like to be treated?” This way of thinking, identifying with the resident continues through their induction and for ever more.

We all must ask ourselves (and this especially of those who exist in hospital management) “How would I like to be treated?” for if we don’t – we will never learn and change will not ensue, and sometime in the near future, we will yet again be reading of the disgraceful care of our elderly - who once were people worthy of the respect you receive and are still worthy of it now.

Remember that we will all be old one day!

Anna :o]

Neglect Of The Elderly

2011-10-13T23:19:00.003+01:00

Today we have learned of the unannounced inspections by the Care Quality Commission (CQC) of one hundred hospitals and the disquieting news that one in five are neglecting elderly patients to the point of breaking the law. (The report is here).

We hear of unacceptable hospital cultures where unacceptable care has become the norm, where the elderly are treated with a lack of respect, stripped of their dignity, are ignored, are talked over (by doctors and nurses), where basic needs (eating and drinking and going to the toilet) are not met.

How many times have we heard something similar or seen ‘undercover’ reporting on TV documentaries of the disgraceful care of the elderly this year, last year and the years before? How many times will we hear and see it again – for we never seem to learn from it?

It appears to me that the blame culture firmly scapegoats nurses and fails to look at the real issues. Of course there are indeed bad nurses as there are bad doctors, bad politicians and bad governments and I have come across some cruel nurses and doctors in my time but would add that they are few and far between.

The report notes that care has been broken down into a task-based culture where doctors and nurses are held to account for every box they have or haven’t ticked and I would agree that this is indeed the case. Although not working in a hospital but a care setting there are so many boxes to tick (even the photocopier has to be risk assessed), so many authorities, agencies and professional bodies to which you are accountable, so much damn paperwork (often duplicated for aforementioned authorities, etc) that there is less time to offer patient/resident care. These boxes have to be ticked, no ifs or buts or it is your job down the swanny.

Of course staffing resources play a part and the report states: ‘Many people told us about the wonderful nurses in their hospital, and then said how hard pressed they were to deliver care. Having plenty of staff does not guarantee good care (we saw unacceptable care on well-staffed wards, and excellent care on understaffed ones) but not having enough is a sure path to poor care.’ (Bold type mine).

Understaffing does matter, more so when the patient group is more needing of staff input. If you really want to know why understaffing matters read this excellent and frightening post by Nurse Anne at Militant Medical Nurse. (It is important that you are aware that most of the nurses you think are nurses on wards are untrained healthcare assistants – that said there are many damned good healthcare assistants who cannot, I repeat cannot do the work of a qualified nurse).

I can only report honestly how understaffing affects the environment in which I work. We have excellent staffing levels which are above those legally required. If one member of staff has to accompany a resident to hospital during the night we are 20% down on staff and therefore 20% of residents will not receive the individualized input of that member of staff. (Hospitals tend to ‘hang on’ to our staff member for hours on end (anywhere from 2-10) and are quite reluctant to let them go (as in effect they increase the hospitals staffing levels). Staffing levels do affect care whether the DoH agrees with it or not. (Oh what fine meaningless statements the DoH make: “…. Ensuring that providers have sufficient qualified, skilled and experienced staff and patients are protected from the risks of inadequate nutrition and hydration.”)

However it would be foolish to pretend that all bad care is related to bad staffing for indeed there is a culture where bad care/practice is the accepted norm, that said if you work in an environment like this (and are good) it is almost impossible to effect change especially if bad practice is top-down. I worked in a care home such as this (owned by a hospital consultant) and as my ‘whistle blowing’ to management met with indifference I and a residents relative informed the JIU (which has morphed across time into the CQC) and I had to leave and the nurse in question kept her job.

This is the lot of a whistle blower who are regarded as troublemakers and at best ignored and at the worst vilified and lose their job.

So the question needs to be asked “How can change be affected if nothing changes in that wards remain under resourced, staffing levels are in the main made up of healthcare assistants, bad practice is allowed to continue and whistleblowers are vilified?”

What say you?

Anna :o]

The Power Of The Press

2011-10-11T09:47:00.002+01:00

Bahrain's Arab Spring

The Little King, Michael Sowa

Wake up!

Wake up and smell the coffee,

for that faint aroma,

that whiff of freedom

will become a memory

unless we stand together,

taste the freedom,

remember it and don’t let it go!

(Then the Saudi tanks came….)

“Here there will be no

Arab Spring,

we shall suppress the press,

crush the spirit of our people,

in this land I will be King

and none shall move against me.

Smell the fear; breathe it in,

for fear is all you have.”

Anna :o]

If it were not for the Medics would we even remember

Bahrain

’s Arab Spring? Would we even think of

Bahrain

now?

The plight of the Bahraini people remains grossly under-reported. Perhaps this is because of its importance to Saudi Arabia, Britain and the

U.S.

Britain and the U.S. continue to court

Bahrain

How often do we think of the Horn of Africa despite the remaining drought and famine? It is old news.

Why is the Health and Social Care Bill and its ramifications on the future of our NHS so grossly under-reported?

The power of the press to either feed or deny us information and the influence of those who hold political or commercial office who can ‘shape’ the way our news is presented to us should concern us all.

Anna :o] (Not paranoid whatsoever!)

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration.

Demon Drink

2011-10-06T03:44:00.000+01:00

I do not know you.

I thought I did before

You raised your hands to me,

Called me a fucking slut,

A fucking whore.

I did not know you.

I now realise that,

The demon (of you)

Had not been released by drink,

Had not come raging to the fore.

I do not know you.

I thought I did

Until those arms that

Once embraced me tenderly

Now push me violently

To the floor

Hands/fists reign blows on me

And I can’t take you anymore.

I am afraid of you

(Although I love you still

And can’t let go –

What strange thing is this?).

Some day I will.

I will let go.

(Please note that I am not ‘into’ bad language (although some four letter words are used in my mind to vent off ‘feelings’ - yet I rarely utter them), however bad language is appropriate to the above.)

As stated before, I work in a care home and love it. The particular unit (of the home that I work in) houses those who are ‘difficult to place.”

Many of our residents are quite frankly pickled by alcohol. Mostly they present as good men and women – believe me that several are women (alcohol abuse is not a predominant domain of men) and I regard (most of them) as thoroughly decent people – and indeed they probably were until alcohol addled their brain and impacted on their families and society.

For a long time I could never understand why these good people were ignored by their families – they state that they have a wife/husband /children yet are unable to state their whereabouts and indeed sometimes their names.

Several years ago I became aware of why alcoholics are often disowned by their families and a recent event re-reminded me of this.

The families of alcoholics are more often than not abandoned (or not acknowledged) by those professionals (GPs, SWs, CPNs, etc) who care for the victims of alcohol. Families are very much victims too.

Alcoholics and ex-alcoholics have the potential to be bastards. I now know why they are often ‘abandoned’ by their families. The families of alcoholics appear to be abandoned by all.

I link this post to dVerse poets for I feel that all words need to be read.

Anna :o]

Bahrain Military Court Finds Medics Guilty

2011-10-02T00:38:00.000+01:00

I am afraid I haven't quite figured out how to upload videos, so Bahrain's proof of guilt of the doctors and nurses who received prison sentences can be found here, sure proof of their Violations of Applicable Laws. Regulations and Ethical Codes!

The video paints a different picture than testimonies received by Amnesty International

Why the silence from the West? Why is Bahrain U.S. and British backed? Why do they regard Bahrain as a key ally? Could it be more than the moderate reserve of oil and more so the strategic position of Bahrain, the HQ of the U.S. Navy's Fifth Fleet and the home of fifty American companies.

The unelected Sunni Regime has been in power since 1971 when granted independence from Britain. Approx. 80% of the unelected ministerial cabinet and senior military officers are members of the royal family.

Why do Britain and the U.S. not back the Bahraini peoples quest for freedom as they do in other middle eastern states?

Maybe Dave knows?

Anna :o]

Sweet Falls The Rain

2011-09-26T08:34:00.001+01:00

Dark clouds may hide the sun,
Cold winds bite at my flesh
Yet I am not afraid.

Sweet falls the rain
Cleansing my soul,
Heaven at my fingertips.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration.

HSCB - "My friend from America"

2011-09-23T01:22:00.003+01:00

I love writing to people all over the world. Love to know what makes them tick, understand the differences and appreciate the similarities. I have American friends and I asked my dear friend ‘Eddie’ if he would consider writing a guest post on the blog re the differences of healthcare in The United States. He declined but gave me permission to publish excerpts from his letters. They are as follows (unedited apart from the first paragraph):

” When I think of America there are 3 things that immediately come to mind: Unaffordable health insurance (I have none)….

"About the health care issue, I'm sorry but I try to avoid blogs and it's not that I don't trust you, far from it; I just quite simply don't have the time. Also I don't have that much to tell really but feel free to use what ever I might come up with, perhaps under the heading "My friend from America" because I do look at you as my friend. One thing I can relate is that I had surgery for two hernia's about ten years ago and when it was over I owed $5000. I paid them what I could afford every month but that wasn't good enough so they put a collection agency on me who threatened to ruin my credit if I didn't pay up. I told them to go ahead and I also told them that you can't get blood out of a turnip. I finally paid them off, it took me five years.

"I didn't realize that your NHS was in jeopardy, and you should fight it because believe me you don't want the alternative. And let me guess it's your conservatives who are pushing to get rid of it?

"There are two main reasons why we have no nationalized health care in the states, lobbyists and the Republican Party. There are many different kinds of lobbyists in Washington, the gun industry has them, the pharmaceutical industry has them and the health care industry also. They are in Washington to fight for their respective clients interests and that entails blocking legislation that may be detrimental to said client. Last year Obama tried to over haul our health system but ran into such rabid opposition that the resulting bill ended up hurting the very people it was intended to help, i.e. poor people. Now I think I told you that I am a life long democrat (liberal) and would never under any circumstances vote for a republican (conservative). In my opinion the democrats are the good guys (or at least the lesser of two evils, politicians in general seem to be a rather unsavory bunch). It's democrats that have pushed legislation that actually help the average person and the poor, social security (which the conservatives are still trying to take away) unemployment insurance etc. The republicans have aligned themselves with white evangelicals and whenever they want to stir up their base they do what they always do, use fear. They started running ads during the health care debate that said Obama was trying to take away their health care and give it to the poor and also that Obama was a socialist (a very dirty word here). There was a public outcry against Obama i.e. the tea party (have you heard of these idiots?) and Obama was forced to back down. I would really like to ask these so called "Christians" what they think Jesus would say about all this. Do they think he would be against legislation that would help millions of poor people? I think not but the real motive for these people is money, they're afraid their taxes would go up. Christians in the U.S. are worried about your soul, because it's relatively cost effective to do so, but they don't give a damn about your health.”

My grandchildren might be writing something similar to the above in years to come when the NHS (as we know it) is dead and gone. The NHS is already partially privatized (PFIs) and will be more so soon. You, the tax payer will continue to contribute towards the NHS - but it will no longer be yours.

When you need a hip or knee replacement or whatever – you won’t get it. Do you get it? If you can afford private health care/insurance you just might be okay, that is if you mention the chest infection you had fifteen years ago – sure sign of COPD – for if you don’t you won’t be covered.

Private insurance companies want to make money from you – not pay for care.

Adopt a Lord (pretty damn soon) and stop the Health and Social Care Bill. Do it – or regret it (at painful) leisure.

Anna :o]

Beguiled

2011-09-18T17:21:00.000+01:00

'The Snake Charmer' Henri Rousseau, 1907

Ah this Eden,

This dark Eden,

The very garden

Where I beguile

Those that slither

Belly down.

Transfixed are you,

My haunting melodies

Resonate

And excite your mind.

Snake-charmed,

Beguiled

You let me in.

Dark thoughts accessible

I know

The very inch of you,

Know your mark

And sweet eyed

I bend you to my will.

Slither my friend,

Slither to me.

My guise is that of

Melodious charm,

You see not

My evil treachery.

Slither to me my friend,

Slither to me.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at Mapie Tales for the inspiration

HSCB - Do the majority of 'health professionals' really give a damn?

2011-09-17T14:51:00.002+01:00

The good Witch Doctors post 'Waiting patiently for The Academy' sent my little grey cells into overdrive. (This doesn’t happen often!)

WDs post begins thus:

“The Guardian refers to an open letter sent by a group of doctors to all the Presidents of the Medical Royal Colleges asking them to speak for the medical establishment and demand that the Health and Social Care Bill, that has currently completed its trip through the House of Commons, is withdrawn by the government.”

WD mentions that despite much searching she could not find any comment or link leading to information re The Health and Social Care Bill on The Academy of Medical Royal Colleges home page. (If I was a doctor worried about the HSCB I would have little faith in this academy).

You may wonder what set my little grey cells into overdrive …. I will tell you later.

The letter referred to is here and mentions that a RCGP survey of over a 1000 GPs was highly critical of the government lack of assurance to the medical profession that there would be no privatisation. Dr Clare Gerada stated:

‘GPs don’t think this bill is going to create a patient-led NHS, they don’t think it’s going to increase autonomy, they don’t think it’s going to improve patient care and they don’t think it’s going to reduce health inequalities.’

I think the GPs who responded to this poll are certainly correct but, are the opinions of 1000 GPs truly representative of over 42000 family doctors? I do not know how many GPs were asked to take part in the survey – but would the remainder have reached the same conclusion?

There is only one link to the HSCB on the RCGP home page and indeed it is not mentioned at all in the September edition of RCGP News. Mmmm…. If I was a GP concerned about the HSCB I would worry about this.

The letter also mentions:

‘An online BMJ poll of over 1000 doctors showed that 93% wanted the bill to be withdrawn and a smaller online poll by GP magazine showed that 94% thought the bill should be scrapped. The Government’s former Director for heart disease and stroke, Sir Roger Boyle, also spoke out against the bill. He pulled no punches when he stated that: 'It is horrific that the NHS's future is threatened'

Do you think it fair to suggest that the majority of those who responded to the Yes/No/Unsure poll would be those who have genuine concerns re the HSCB? What do the rest think?

What set my little grey cells into overdrive? It was the combination of the Witch Doctors post and this article I had read previously in Pulse. The article mentions the possibly of a ballot on industrial action over pension reforms and the governments intention of bringing forward its plans to increase the retirement age to 67.

The BMA is calling in lawyers to give advice on industrial actions. Dr Andrew Dearden, BMA pensions chair describing the new pension plans a ‘straightforward tax on healthworkers.’

Dr Hamish Meldrum, union chief and council chair of the BMA has set up a dedicated Pensions Campaign Group and is discussing legal issues and industrial action etc.

Why did this article and the Witch Doctors post send my little grey cells into overdrive?

It appears to my little grey cells that the medical profession is really worked up about future pension changes and there is much anger and the possibility of industrial action.

If the majority of the medical profession were really concerned regarding the ramifications of HSCB would they not have become angry and worked up about this too? Would they not have threatened industrial action?

Would the fact that they have not, strongly suggest that the good doctors who blog are indeed (and unfortunately) members of a minority of the medical profession who oppose the bill, the remainder being pro the bill or at the very least indifferent to it?

Dave might have been correct when he stated the health professionals back the bill for perhaps in the most part they do?

I hope I’m bloody wrong!

What say you?

Anna :o]

PS Nurses are no better either.

Night Brings No Comfort

2011-09-15T02:44:00.001+01:00

Night
Does not swiftly pass me by
As quickly in rem sleep
(Or otherwise)
I do not slumber;
I lie awake
And remember you
By your awful number
Six, six, six –
My very devil
In the black of night.

I drink
Countless cups of coffee
In respectful toast of you
And smoke cigarettes
In fear of you
As you infiltrate
The very being of me.
I see you
For what you are
And see me
For what indeed I am.

The very sham of me,
The awful pretence
Of whom I want to be,
The one who copes
With a fragmented mind
Where black thoughts
Have much too easy access.

Full moon
Or otherwise
You create
The monsters in my mind,
The kind that illuminate the me
I do not want to see.

Dawn delivers
Me restless from the night.
I shall never be free of me.
I am what I am
And will always be..

Anna :o]

With thanks to the good folks at Poetry Jam and dVerse Poets for the inspiration.

Stuck

2011-09-08T21:17:00.000+01:00

Stuck

Like some

Old vehicle mired in mud

We stand

Wallowing waist high

In old spent emotions,

Can't let go, can't move on,

We share

The mistaken senseless notion

That if we try hard enough

Love expired can be recaptured.

Enraptured

By our new beginning

We will rise

Above the quagmire

Of extinguished love,

Distinguished by our fight

For rejoined hearts,

Set apart from mere mortals

We shall take on angelic form,

Love excelling.

Yet angels

Cannot enter here

Where two lives self destruct

In faint hope of loves resurrection,

Tensions released

We should drown

Like some tragic dying swan,

Yet we will not relent,

Will not let go, will not move on.

Anna: o]

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration.

Is The NHS Doomed?

2011-09-05T11:42:00.001+01:00

Collecting together the main sections of the Sunday newspapers to take into work last night I was struck by The Observers headline "Lib Dem peer plunges NHS reforms into fresh turmoil" and read with joy that Baroness Shirley Williams is expressing new doubts – although appearing pacified by changes to the bill over summer – having re-examined the proposals.

The article also mentions emails released yesterday following a freedom of information request by Spinwatch detailing exchanges between senior health officials and private companies regarding the handing over of between 10-20 hospitals to international companies. One message from McKinsey to a senior DoH official reads 'international hospital provider groups' would want certain conditions taking over the hospitals, such as 'a free hand on staff management' – adding that the NHS would be allowed to keep real estate and pensions. How kind.

"Let me make clear: there will be no privatisation," now sounds a bit hollow David.

Please read 'German Company involved in talks to take over NHS hospitals.'

I fear that Shirley Williams is possibly quite alone as this article states:

"Sources close to Clegg said the leadership had already "used up a lot of political capital" by halting and then recasting the bill earlier this year."We expect MPs to vote with the government. Otherwise we won't last very long [in power].""

The response I received from my latest email to my (Labour) MP wasn't very encouraging at all, purely focusing on the revised Clause 1 of the bill still proposing to weaken the responsibility of the Secretary of State to provide and secure NHS services.

No specific questions posed were answered nor did MP X state that he/she planned to vote against the bill.

This is not really a very well constructed post folks (as I should be in bed) and in reality it is all over the place, but I guess what I am trying to say is "I think the NHS is doomed."

Sad, very sad.

Anna :o[

Links: http://cockroachcatcher.blogspot.com/2011/09/nhs-reform-shirley-williams-south.html

Melancholia

2011-08-29T08:59:00.004+01:00

Melancholia

I can see you,

I can see you coming.

Your dark shroud

hides you not from me.

You look at me,

weigh me up

From every angle,

every corner.

I see you,

I see your mean thin smile

split your loathsome face –

Not grey, worn or lined

with the ready burden

that you carry

(and dispense with eagerness,

malignant pride

to those to vulnerable to resist).

Instead

like some awful alien sun

your face glows, cheeks puff,

eyes glint and draw me in.

Your court me easily,

embrace me in

your malignant charm,

embrace me close

to your awful malformed chest,

your parasitic heart

roots into mine

feeding on its frightened rhythm.

Your deep dark thoughts attempt

to penetrate my flesh, my mind

and nauseated by your

rancid breath,

oh how I try so hard to resist,

to fight you off

to save my very self.

But your gloom drip, drip, drips

like some eternal icy shower

and protection down

like some collapsing umbrella

rent asunder

by your perfect, perfect storm,

resistance done

you finally penetrate,

penetrate my very heart and soul

and saturated, drowning

in your gloom I descend,

down
into a deep depression.

Red Umbrellas, Christopher Shay

This time

you have worn me down

and won

but then you always win.

Anna :o]

With thanks to the good folk at Magpie Tales and dVerse for the inspiration.

The Death Of The NHS

2011-08-24T23:38:00.002+01:00

Read this and weep. Cry your bloody eyes out. You were warned. You did not listen. Apathy is easy. Murdoch provided an ideal opportunity to bury bad news - and buried it was. I totally missed it.

Your future in health provision is to be changed. You will allow it as it hasn't touched you yet. It possibly/probably will in the future when you are needy - and your needs will not be met. Visit NHS Support Federation, read all and act. It is up to you. Only you can effect the halt of privatisation. Do something for Gods sake!

Anna :o[

The Painter

2011-08-17T10:27:00.001+01:00

He is gone now,

The slick artist

Who painted my dreams,

Coloured my vision,

Decorated his intentions,

Papered over the cracks

Of his little sick schemes.

He has stripped me

Bare of my ego,

Left my heart bare of trust,

And scraped the hope

From my soul

As my dreams turned to dust.

Yet I still love him,

My faux painter,

My forger, my faker

And I gloss over his faults,

For he is etched deep in my psyche,

My handsome heart breaker.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at Magpie Tales for the inspiration.

What is this?

2011-08-10T13:42:00.008+01:00

What is this?

What is this that ails us?

This malady,

This malevolence,

Which infects us easily

When wounds laid bare

Become easy hosts

To societies ills,

This sickness sweeping

Disaffected youth, hotheads,

Pyrexial with adrenaline

Light bonfires, bonfires

That fan the flames of racism,

Burn bright the beacon,

The bloody beacon that

Lights the way to bigotry.

How easy

They succumb to stereotype,

The looters, the arsonists,

The bigot's fodder;

The bigots dream gifted,

Gifted by the very underclass

They wish to further

Marginalise.

Black, brown, white –

The underclass,

United by deprivation,

Divided by difference.

Hooded they roam the streets;

Pack mentality

Supersedes rationality,

For rationality

Has no business here

As they scavenge

Like hungry primeval beasts

On looted goods

And feed on the

Adrenaline rush of anarchy.

Oh how this anarchy,

This pleasure

Of fleeting power

Runs fast through veins

Infecting systemically
The very body of
Our nation,

Its fever flares

In new hot spots

As hooded youth

Copycat, mimic

The initial opened wound

And light fires to their freedom,

Their awful new found freedom

Where death has become

Its awful victim.

Yet not all this underclass,

This nations poor of hope

Run riot

And watch instead,

In utter disbelief,

As seemingly abandoned
By enfeebled,
Directionless police

And the distant leaders

Of our troubled state,

They attempt to

Comprehend

The incomprehensible.

Soon the infection

Will be treated –

Yet the patient

Will not be cured.

The virus will hide

Under its own hood,

An opportunist,

Watching, waiting

For a fresh new wound

On which to reek its

Destructive qualities,
The qualities of a sick society.

It will come again.

Anna :o]

The Letter

2011-07-29T10:34:00.006+01:00

It
Sits behind the old clock,

An elegant timepiece,

A retirement gift

That declares its existence

As it chimes on the hour,

Breaking the silence, the quiet denial.

It,
The letter,

Has sat there for decades,

Yellowed with age

From time and tobacco,

Its envelope hiding – no,

Refusing its contents.

The words

No longer read

Are fading
As are memories,

Memories of him,

Their first born, their angel,

Who proudly,

For King and for Country

Donned the colours of war.

He will return one day,
Of that they are certain.

He will walk through the front door,

Older and wiser,

Matured by the terror,

The conflict of battle;
He will battle no more.

They will embrace him,

Their first born,

Tears streaming down faces,

Hearts full of elation

And they will glance at the letter,

The Missing In Action,

In quiet jubilation

And breaking the silence

Will declare

“We knew you’d come home!”

Anna :o]

With thanks to the good folk at Theme Thursday for the inspiration