Monday, 12 March 2012

Subarachnoid Haemorrhage

Image: Uzengia Alexander Nedic
A lightening strike? 
A thunderclap? 
Pain exquisite
he stumbles
at the shock of it,
falls,
tumbles down
the grassy bank,
comes to a stop. 
Tries
to make sense of it,
looks for a storm,
a fallen branch,
feels head and neck
for gaping wound,
for blood,
finds none of it

He stands,
great toe tingles,
stands erect. 
Confused
he undresses (bottom half),
tries to press down toe
with other foot. 
None of it. 
It stands erect. 
He falls again
(the shock of it)
arms headlock
as if to quell
the pain of it.

He sees her in the white,
fuzzy, undefined,
unrecognised,
light dims
turns black.

She stands
atop the grassy bank,
waits for him,
impatient,
angry,
hurt. 
He has not come. 
Looks down,
does not see him
taking root
amongst the undergrowth. 
“He will not do this again!”
she seethes,
cries,
turns on her heels
and leaves.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at The Mag for the inspiration.

30 comments:

Dick Jones said...

Graphic and chilling. A fine link between prompt and response here.

Jinksy said...

Gosh! how about a noisy 'Halloo!' from the injured one? Blowed if I'd stay silent in the same scenario...:)Mind you, that might change the ending of the story. Hehehe!

Brian Miller said...

oo nice...lots of confusing action in this...him now taking root among the brush as well is a fine touch...very nice....quick paced...

Kathe W. said...

poor guy , perhaps he should have given a huge shout? Very chilling.

Helen said...

This is an amazing Mag ....

Berowne said...

Startling vision, creative reaction to the prompt...

ADDY said...

OMG. my neighbour had one of those while on holiday in Greece and had to be airlifted back to the UK!

Wayne Pitchko said...

I really like where you went with this.....nicely done

jabblog said...

Oh my, will he get out alive? Not so, he's 'taking root amongst the undergrowth' - chilling.

Jenny Woolf said...

Disquieting poem. It will stay with me, not sure I want it to - but it is very good!

Laurel's Quill said...

aahhh, poor guy...lost again! nice read. Laurel

Martin said...

A super piece of writing. kept me with it, all the way.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thanks for your welcome comments folks!

Anna :o]

izzy said...

Very mysterious...I love the sequences. thanks.

Lolamouse said...

Oh my, that ending was chilling!

zongrik said...

is she sure he will not do it again

depth of field

Daydreamertoo said...

Oooo.... did he fall or, was he pushed. Dastardly deeds afoot, or, alsip more like :)
Very clever write to the prompt.

Dr Erhumu said...

Beautiful! Wish i could link this to the story on my blog "when a headache is more than a headache", it tells the story so much better.

Nurse and Hospital Stories said...

Pity for that guy. And the woman have no compassion at all, ah, maybe because she is hurt. love this poem. :)

Cheers,
Peny@nurse uniform

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thank you so much for your kind comments folks!

Anna :o]

Lyn said...

Great point of view..just because she looks like an angel, doesn't mean a thing...super!!

Luke Prater said...

very good indeed

Stafford Ray said...

So he is dying and she is pissed off at his disappearance and leaves! OMG, will she suffer the guilts after the autopsy!
Confession: I Googled the title. Somehow wish I hadn't... another nasty little disease to worry about.

manicddaily said...

Ha! Sounds like a play!!! Very funny, in a Goreyesque kind of way. K.

Wander said...

Hay, where the hell are you going...I just stumbled...

Wander

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Cheers folks for your welcome comments.

Anna :o]

Other Mary said...

Oh, a near miss heartbreak. I like the way this unfolds, so the reader is confused a bit like the man in the poem. Well done you!

Bar None Publishing Group said...

An incredible journey that you wove through words. Well done!

Cheers,

Mark Butkus

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thanks Other Mary and Bar None for your kind comments.

Anna :o]

Jannie Funster said...

I love your take on the photo. My favorite I've read yet in this prompt. Very imaginative and original, Anna!

So... she pushed him?

And his toe was overtaken by magical mushroom nuymphs?

That's my story and I'll stick to it. :)