One more Unfortunate,
Weary of breath,
Rashly importunate,
Gone to her death!
We turn our backs
on so much suffering
content to appease
small conscience
drop pennies in a rattled tin.
Disproportionate
our eyes bigger
than our stomach,
we fill our gut.
One more Unfortunate
will dine on air
until desperate
fills belly
with dirt and
precious blades of grass
escaping death
by tiny moments
as time ticks on
relentless.
Weary of breath
lacking vigour
wasting
she rests crouches
on sun-scorched
exhausted earth.
Tis easy to apportionate
blame ‘tween men of greed
and men of war as we
turn our backs – the fortunate
Rashly importunate
time ticks by
on vultures wings
waiting as inanition
takes its toll
offers fare,
its sigh of death.
Empty now
starved
of life and breath,
(she has gone) Gone to her death!
Anna
Sam at dVerse asks us to write a poem in Glosa form,
this form honouring another poet in its words.
I chose The Bridge of Sighs by Thomas Hood –
his words forming the opening cabeza and this providing the ending lines of the
following four stanzas.
31 comments:
Wonderful glosa... such a smooth flow throughout and strong ending, Anna.
anna...you break my heart...starting with the picture...whew emotional journey...
will dine on air
until desperate
fills belly
with dirt and
precious blades of grass
escaping death
by tiny moments
geez, that twists my guts a bit...wonderful glosa...
That image was and is still haunting ~ Your words just cuts specially the third verse, unfortunate and sad piece ~ Well done with the form Anna ~
Disproportionate
our eyes bigger
than our stomach,
we fill our gut.
One more Unfortunate
True of many, Anna! One is often blind to other's sufferings. Wonderful take!
Hank
I'm not familiar with the original piece by Thomas Hood, so don't know the context of the cabeza... but how you weave his words into your painful, haunting narrative. Juxtaposed with the heartbreaking picture, this glosa quivers with ekphrastic emotionality.
time's sigh of death.. well worded. Sad poem but necessary. -Mike
oh anna...just looking at the pic brought tears to my eyes...really a heart-wrenching write - haunting like grace says is the right word..
This brought tears to my eyes, how you weave the poem into this magnificent glosa...
Tis easy to apportionate
blame ‘tween men of greed
and men of war as we
turn our backs – the fortunate
And that's what we do... unfortunately... thank you for important reminder.
Heart-wrenching. Impossible to forget. Great writing to an amazingly resilient form.
Not easy to write and even less easy to read.
our world...what has it come to.
Well done with the form.
I haven't heard of this form before but your poem is so beautifully composed I will have to check it out. Powerful and gut-wrenching poem all the more so because your words are true.
Stands upto the pic..I have seen it as a forwarded email and the transition from the cabeza was so smooth. Such ironies of life we tend to live with in seemingly ignorance of bliss
So vivid an imagery, you could feel her struggle to draw that last breath ... and with it, weak, exhausted, and profoundly feeble as she is, she whispers: "I never felt for you the way you feel for me, quite the opposite ...." and she goes - cos she knew, you know, she's always known, well, almost always known the poet with that flare for 'ease' decorum - you can't hide decorum ... and why the no reply/s, because she liked the decorum she never had ... that dead woman without decorum
So painful that last breath, and she goes - still clasping tight her olive branch ... so tight, has it snapped with that agonising finale? ... she won't know now, or ever ...
Tell me Anna - Is it pain free on the other side? ... I think I already hear you say "No, it isn't"
Brilliant effort Anna, dead woman told me to tell you ... well done
Just heart rendingly brilliant!
Just heart rendingly brilliant!
Anna, heart-breaking and a sad truth - the picture and the words from the heart speak to me..
May we not turn away as " time ticks by / on vultures wings." Well done, handling such a powerful subject with tenderness.
I wasn't familiar with poet, so read the original. And yours does a beautiful job of extending the tragedy. Your words as heart-rending as the picture.
Heartbreaking.
Thank you for writing this heartfelt truth-filled poem.
Heartbreaking to see/hear of children suffering so deeply when another country has so much.
Oh Anna, this is so terribly sad...but an excellent write. I can say no more, as I'm too moved.
An excellent glosa, it does justice to this heart-breaking photo (are you familiar with the back story of it by the way?)...
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2013/05/table-for-four.html
completely speechless!
" time ticks by on vultures wings"
... so feel this one. wonderful work on form and words, beautifully crafted.
Hi Anna the new prompt is up if you want to participate I would love to have you =) You can always go back and do any prompt you like so no worries if miss the time in my world time is not linear lol
Well, Brian spoke for me. I loved your glosa, but more than that - I was changed by it. This is a heartbreaking and important work, Anna.
Wonderful how you made these lines your own.
Thank you for your kind comments on such a sad subject folks.
S.E. ~ Yes I am familiar with the back story of this most moving haunting photo - for those of you who might not know please see http://iconicphotos.wordpress.com/2009/08/12/vulture-stalking-a-child/ It is worth investigating further too for further misery was to follow.
Anna
You have a big heart Anna, not many nowa-days are that pure, anymore :-(
Powerful writing, Anna. The short line, with a cadence matching the original, seems lullaby-and-goodnight like. First lines grown from last lines draw me to that devastatingly beautiful last stanza, my utter favorite:
time ticks by
on vultures wings
waiting as inanition
takes its toll
offers fare, its
sigh of death.
Empty now starved
of life and breath,
(she has gone)
Gone to her death!
Sounds like the reincarnation of Medusa! Love the line:
"her ugliness is in her vices"
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