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Sometimes
she hangs there
throttled
by a string of bleeding hearts
I love you y’know she says
(she whispers it, pulsates it out).
And here he sits,
drowning in blood-red horizon.
He says: I know I know.
And slowly suffocates,
longs angel lust, last man standing.
She is the noose around his neck,
the spittle on his arid tongue.
She is the death of him.
Anna :o]
Due to life circumstances, I have a serious case of
writers block. Claudia at dVerse has us
writing bold metaphors and images. I
don’t know whether the above quite fits the bill – but after weeks of a dying
thirst in an arid desert – I have finally completed something. So I shall offer it.
Perhaps it is a metaphor for my present circumstances…
Image: Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Author:
Sander van der Wel from
Netherlands
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14 comments:
It really turned out bold and impressive altough I don't understand the meaning completely. Hopefully there will soon be better times for you.
drowning in blood-red horizon. - Great line and great image, i can feel this and this line really works. Powerful
Some strong images here. I like especially 'she is the noose around his neck.' For being 'dry' for a while, you turned your aridity into an oasis of words!
Very powerful and striking images in your poem, Anna.
This poetry of yours is extremely powerful and the images are uplifting.
And here he sits,
drowning in blood-red horizon.
He says: I know I know.
And slowly suffocates,
longs angel lust, last man standing.
This line of yours my the hairs of my skin stand up. I love it very much.
:)
A moment of drama, chaos, bathos? Still, powerfully written, boldly drawn; but I bristled at the notion that She was the noose; why not vica-versa?
Anna, this is very moving, and painted so clearly it puts the reader right in the scene. "...and slowly suffocates....last man standing". So powerful, so completely captured. Bless you. All will be well. Love is the bottom line.
I loved the use of metaphors in this piece. Bold, indeed. Raw and powerful imagery. Good work!
a very moving piece with a strong use of metaphors...images show up effortlessly...
Powerful images which haunt me - although I too struggle with the genders represented there - a reversal might have been nice. Simply because too often men view women as the 'noose', holding them back. Although I don't think it's about a couple at all that you are talking about here...
oh heck...some haunting powerful images...the blood-red horizon...her being the noose around his neck...heck... glad you joined anna
This very good ... I get it ... he could have run though ...
A splendid write. Dry spells can be tough. I hope this dripping of words continues. There is definitely some nice imagery in this.
This certainly did suits the prompt as she WAS a noose.
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