Saturday, 7 July 2018

Nag Nag Nag

Morning 1906, Clarence White (Fair Use, Public Domain)

Okay, so you’ve left me,
I can cope with that (or can I?).

But why leave all the mess,
the toilet seats up,
toothpaste spit in the sink,
curly pubes stuck in soap,  
dirty towels stuffed in cupboards,
and tidemarks ringing the bath –
it’s no wonder I nag you, no wonder I drink

I don’t know how I put up with you,
you dress like a tramp,
you stink of raw garlic,
snore like a pig
and your conversations a bore.

And now you have the cheek to leave me
saying you can’t stand me no more!
(Can’t stand me – I just don’t get that!)

Go then I said and damn you, you did!
You’ve gone and you’ve left me you garlic-breathed pig!
Damn you!  Damn you and damn you!
Damn you!
You’ll so regret leaving me
for I’m perfect you know!

Anna :o]

For Kerry’s Camera Flash prompt at Real Toads  – cheers Kerry!


Fireblossom said...

This totally cracked me up! Marvelous.

Toni Spencer said...

Send that garlic breathed pig packing!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Lol. Made me want to start cleaning!

Old Egg said...

Personally I was so much in sympathy with her; I wonder what she'd think if I came a'knocking?

Kim Russell said...

I love the way you see this image, Anna! You've made me chuckle this Sunday morning.

Kerry O'Connor said...

The commonality of the complaints floored me and how cleverly you turned the tide on the complainer. This is a great reading of the image.

Magaly Guerrero said...

After learning about all his "qualities" I'm just surprised she didn't disintegrate him flushed him down the toilet before she could go and ruin someone else's bathroom.

Perfect tone. Hysterical!

Vivian Zems said...

She's better off without him...good riddance I say. And if he thinks the grass is greener...well....good luck! Loved this :)

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Lol made me want to start scrubbing the floor :) sigh she is better off without him 💜

Anonymous said...

Funny and somewhat unexpected, I read it to my partner!

Jenny Woolf said...


Susie Clevenger said...

Oh we reap what we rant at times don't we... :)

kaykuala said...

Saying goodbye may comprise some interesting varieties. Love the humor here when conveyed in a seemingly serious manner, Anna!


Jim said...

There are men like that, their mothers didn't teach them right. Your herione sounds like she bitched too hard at him. But she should consider herself better off now. Hire a maid for the day and let her/him clean up hubby's messes up.
p.s. I don't do like any of this guy's faults but then I'm married and the there is a long line of women waiting for me if I become available.

Herotomost said...

Haaa...but she never This was great turn of events and cool comment on the ridiculousness of relationships sometimes. Really clever take on the prompt, I loved it!!!

Sara McNulty said...

Excellent and unique take on this painting. Hilarious!