"No! Well if I have I have a smoker's runny nose and a smoker's sneeze too! I have a summer cold."
"No, a summer cold."
They're the same thing."
"No they're not."
(This is an intellectual exchange that goes on for an eternity so I shall not report it in its entirety for fear you might develop information overload).
However, she is a firm believer in the 'cold and flu is the same thing' way of thinking. She is adamant about it. She is so confident that at the merest hint of a cold, she marches of to her docs, demands and gets antibiotics.
Same applies to our dear residents when she is in charge. Handover will report "X showing flu symptoms, please observe closely, contact emergency services if required. For GP tomorrow." Okay, the emergency services bit isn't really there – but I am certain she wants it to be. I hate it if she is working days over the weekend as she will contact out of hours, speak to docs, insist they visit, be told (it) is at the bottom of the triage pile and (they) will visit within six hours.
If they visit when this six hours runs into my shift – I am mortified with embarrassment as X sits there looking remarkably well as she stuffs cream cakes in her mouth while telling the doc to "F**k off!" (Little sweet old ladies sometimes do this you know!). Usually, but not always – sometimes pressing things get in the way - I will cancel the request.
Most of my friends and some family members – extended or otherwise – also do not appear to be aware of the existence of the common cold, they only get flu. I do wonder whether this belief is localised to the geographic area in which I happily exist – or is it nationwide or even worldwide.