Monday, 20 February 2012

An Ordinary Man

image: epic mahoney

Life complicates
with every twist and turn,
with every secret
held close
to anxious chest.

He dismounts,
parks up,
enters the box,
wishes the light
more dimmed,
lest he be observed
by prying eyes.

No indiscretions he,
an ordinary man he
remains amazed
at her choice
of him. 
No wealth,
no great intellect,
the only thing
he has to offer
is himself.

He thinks of his wife,
the ready scowl,
the nagging tongue. 
God, once he did love her so,
yet familiarity
bred contempt
and rent apart
the very fabric
that made them one.

He picks up the phone,
heart flutters
lest she not respond,
she does, whispers
“I love you!”

He straddles the bike;
fades to heaviness. 
She will be waiting,
her diatribe of bitter words
will spill like shards of glass,
will cut him deep.   

She sees him,
no lover her,
no “I love you!”
her bitter words
stab at his heart. 
He picks up the knife;
blind with rage
penetrates her flesh,
“Well my love,
till death us do part!”

With thanks to Tess at The Mag for the inspiration.

Anna :o]


Brian Miller said...

whew that took a turn i did not see coming...i guess there comes a point when you have had enough...shivers....

Frances Garrood said...

Wow - Anna! Where did that come from? Quite a twist!

Berowne said...

Original, vivid, powerful...

ayala said...

Oh my ... I didn't see it coming ....

Little Nell said...

Like the others I was surprised. A nice weaving of the story.

Wayne Pitchko said...

indeed powerful...thanks for this

Martin said...

Wow, that was pretty dark.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Wow! That was very powerful. Well done!

Anna :o] said...

Thank you for you kind comments folks.

Anna :o]

rel said...

Severing ties, so-to-speak!

Jinksy said...

That's one sure way to kill a relationship! :)

Laurie Kolp said...

Wow... that was a very unexpected ending.

Mama Zen said...

Wow! Great twist!

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

This is quite interesting... Love it!


Linda said...

I enjoyed the build up and wasn't sure where the story would go. Sweet, to bittersweet, to bitter in the end.I loved the character background you expertly wove into your tale. Great story telling, Anna. Thank you for sharing.

Isabel Doyle said...

powerful writing Anna

CC Champagne said...

Whoa... Really good read, and very unexpected ending!!!

Friko said...

oooh, you are a bloodthirsty wench!

Luke Prater said...

twisty-turny piece; well-wrought and manipulated

Emily said...

Chilling ending!

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thanks so much for your kind comments folks - much appreciated!

Anna :o]

James Rainsford said...

Savage and visceral. This has great economy of language and a powerful impact. Loved it!

Steve Isaak said...

Good balance of flow/poetics and tale-telling. Enjoyed this a lot!

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thanks James and Steve for your kind comments.

Anna :o]

Anonymous said...

Oh my! Hee hee, you got me too.
-Dark Angel

Hold my hand: a social worker's blog said...

Goodness gracious!! lol The end took me unprepared... That was brilliant!