Thursday, 20 February 2014

Red



Chic in her red finery,
so sleek she is as she
roars down the road.

He is the sporty type
he is athlete.
She a driver for his new career -
the apprehensive acrobat.

They meet head on.

He catapults into the air
and somersaults
and he a novice here,
does not land dainty on his feet,
instead lands clumsily,
cracking head on terra firma.

She is non-sentient,
indifferent to his pain,
wipes red tears from her shattered eye.

And he gurgles in his red viscous pool,
eyes her in odd shades of green,
sucks in one last breath, exhales noisily
and he is,   well,    he is dead.

Anna :o]

I had read Claudia’s clue to tonight’s prompt before leaving home.  Around midday, in a hospital grounds, I was talking to a patient and she was explaining to me the cause of her injuries, and the above began to formulate in my mind…but I took her story a little further…

And now, looking at Victoria’s prompt at dVerse – not too sure whether my offering fits the bill of an object poem…  So it is maybe a case of publish and be damned!

Image:  Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Author:  OppidumNissenae

16 comments:

Claudia said...

oh my goodness.. that closure hit hard...you surely took the prompt into unexpected terrain... dense with emotion..

Björn said...

Such disasters.. what a driver can do... and just die at the end.. to understand that this could just end...

Brian Miller said...

whew...life comes at you fast....and when you least expect it a crash changes everything...

Victoria said...

Yikes. Sad story indeed. I'm very glad you published it, Anna. Good sensory description.

Mary said...

Oh my, the ending took my breath away. Death is so final. Point well made. And we never know when it will strike.

Gabriella said...

Wow! You certainly took this story to an extreme ending! I am glad your patient was only injured.

Grace said...

What an ending, dead as dead ~ Enjoyed this one Anna ~

Glenn Buttkus said...

Of course an automobile is an object, mechanical perhaps, but still inert; liked your spirited piece; although I did get kind of lost in the he said, she said lines, she is the red sports car, and he is a person driving another vehicle? Anyway, it spins cool, & rocks the prompt just fine.

Anders Woje Ellingsen said...

She is indeed not to drive, that is for sure. You point that out. The relationship between the man and the woman is interesting, to say the least. It mirrors the relationship between God and man.

Nara Malone said...

Whoa, was not expecting that curve. Shudder. Your details put me right there.

HA said...

Oh! That is a powerful write. Fast-paced, full of action with the eventual ending. Very well-penned.
-HA

Abhra said...

Ah - not sure it aligns right on the theme, but intense, paced and very well penned.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Wow this was incredibly vivid...so tragic indeed.

^.^ said...

Yep, me still remembers ... when me hit that (athlete) deer ... me cry and cry on the phone ... mostly about about me car ...

Akila G said...

dang! reckless...i love your word choice here..to paint both the sides in the end, red though

Damon said...

sad story u.u tragic indeed
+follow guy