My birth brought no joy, for I was not boy. Yet I felt loved, my mother taught me my chores, showed me my place, gave me my future. Father even allowed an education and my mind and spirit shined as I became alive! Then came puberty and I was a little afraid, a little afraid as buds blossomed into breasts and blood showed the possibilities of motherhood. And father became afraid, mother too, and my femininity became the chains that bound me.
Mother and father chose a cousin and I could not, could not love him – for I wanted a man that would excite my heart and he was not he. I did so need to be loved rather than acquired, wanted to happily drown in the wonder of it all, the wonder of love.
And I found him, my true love, at the very same moment he found me. And deep within me, within my womb, beats the tiny heart that is my country's future. For whether this tiny heart beats in girl or boy, this wonderful child will be loved and will be free, as free as the birds that soar above us and touch the clouds with unclipped wings.
Yet my parents are not happy for me and are bitter with hatred. They say I have dishonoured them…
A stone as a heart,
my life blood wet on his hands:
this a father’s love.
Björn at dVerse has us writing a haibun and the horrendous murder of Farzana Parveen remains fresh in my mind, refuses to go away, and my words are based upon it.
I must admit that I am almost immune to the pain of our world, swamped as we are by gruesome images that fill our television screens, so much so that the unbelievable the unforgivable become the ordinary. I may despair for mankind upon viewing, listening or reading, then the mental images and memory fade and I return to things personal in my life.
However Farzana’s murder refuses to go away, be consigned to the past, for try as I might, I cannot understand how a father can murder his daughter, firm in the belief that her death returns honour to her family. I cannot understand the mindset. I really really can’t and I felt physically sick upon hearing of it.
I do so fear for mankind, for it is my belief de-evolution is upon us as we fast return to our primitive past, our thinking primitive as we step backward towards the swamp from which we came…
Further reading that might interest:
ECD News: GENDER PLAY DURING EARLY CHILDHOOD IN
Global Health Action: Gender roles and their influence on life prospects for women in urban
: a qualitative study Karachi, Pakistan
BMC Public Health: Male gender preference, female gender disadvantage as risk factors for psychological morbidity in Pakistani women of childbearing age - a life course perspective
Quranic Path: Stoning to Death: A Violation of the Qur’an
Aljazheera: Pakistani women stoned to death by her family
Video: courtesy of YouTube