Saturday, 31 May 2014

Fog


Prognathism: mandiblular: his chin juts out –
like Beachy Head (he thinks) or barracuda;
juts out defiant neath tight upper lip.
He hates this.  He hates his tiny tiny little mouth,
wishes God had given     more thought to his creation.   
He has weighed up the odds,
the odds the risks of complications;
surgery – nervous (as he is of it),
he will sit it out, indefinite. 

Despite his sore self-seen affliction –
he has it all (he thinks) –
he has the sea and she and Lucky Lady. 
She?  He has this notion she is leaving. 
Is she leaving him?  
He feels her withdraw,
a moody ebbing ocean leaving,
leaving in its wake a lonely barren shore.

She: distressed, stress manifests cutaneous,
her silvery scales remind her of the fish;
that fish (bass she thinks) that flapped and flailed,
hooked as it was to certain death,
its tiny tiny little mouth gasping gaping drowning.

It simmered on the galley stove,
simmered in its briny waters. 
He herbed and lemoned it,
seasoned it, hot alive with peppercorn. 
He savoured it, the smell of it. 
Succulent, it melted in her mouth just as his kisses did. 

His kisses did, and then it came, came horizontal,
(as she had always lain before him (always always wanting him)),
came horizontal rolling fogging up her mind;
lost in it    she found herself    almost invisible. 
Distracted then (by it) she slowly drifted into it;
no, it took her hooked her reeled her in (flapping, flailing).

He is losing her;
lost she is to some lonely barren shore,
where darkness offers itself     the infinite,
ebbing as she is,    towards it,

gasping gaping slowly drowning.

Anna :o]

Entered at Open Link Night at dVerse – hosted by the lovely Mary.  Thanks Mary.  
Also entered at the Poetry Pantry at Poets United - again hosted by the lovely Mary!

Image: courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Author: Gillfoto

32 comments:

Brian Miller said...

wow. really quite moving...as much a short story as it is a poem...very poetic prose...ugh....and felt...the losing there in the end...you tried to draw a tear...and succeeded

janet said...

Beautifully rendered sense of loss. I felt at first that she might have been a mermaid or a selkie, slipping from his grasp as she returned to the sea.

janet

^.^ said...

Lovely description of my life ...

Claudia said...

oh that is really masterfully done... i was holding my breath while reading...love how you show the emotions and excellent story telling...

Gabriella said...

Very moving poem, Anna, particularly the end. The sens of losing then actual loss is very tangible in your words.

Mary said...

Very moving poem, Anna. It is so hard to have the feeling of losing someone or to have been lost to someone. Your words are filled with feeling. I hear you.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I hear you, too, Anna. The losing, the being lost....all of it. So profoundly and poetically expressed - that lonely barren inner shore......

Ostensible Truth said...

such an interesting write, you had me intrigued throughout. The parenthesis, along with the third person works really well in adding to the intensity of it, with the parenthesis acting as an almost echo. You've used your punctuation so deliberately and carefully too - it all just complements the content and feel of the write - great stuff!

Grace said...

I like the he and her perspective and the ending of that drowning is so sad ~ I like smell and taste of succulent ~ Lovely story here, thanks ~

C.C. said...

The different perspectives, and the way you have drawn on extraneous details to add to the main internal story results in poetic magic.

HA said...

A masterpiece. Such a powerful story with evocative metaphors, rich salty words, the azure emotion of loss and the thought provoking notions of identity and relationship.
Great writing, Anna.

jo-hanna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jo-hanna said...

Not an easy write I would think. Observing is often far scarier than going through scary places oneself. Reason trying to fathom the unreasonable.

vivchook said...

The gorgeous & intriguing artwork was like the opening stanza - compliments on your choice. The poem was very moving - you took me on that journey, I felt the anxiety of not quite knowing, but the dread of the probable loss. But I also tasted that fish. A beautiful write, Anna. - Vivienne, of OneVoicePoetry.

Mary said...

Hi Anna, great to see you over here in the Pantry as well. Smiles!!

scotthastiepoet said...

A brave and very fresh write Anna - you realise things here with a original and deft touch - a real pleasure to read... Regards Scott

freyawrites.com said...

It is often only too late that we realise something is being lost to us - perhaps because we don't want to see it, acknowledge it, perhaps because we are too wrapped up in 'life' to notice. I have been there and the lesson is harsh to learn, and I'm still working out how I couldn't see it. But back to your poem - it was beautiful to read, I learned some new words and then read it again to enjoy it's message. Well done, Anna, thank you for sharing it with us.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

This is very emotional and quite moving. Loss is such a difficult thing to experience, whether we lose someone permanently through death or through a severing of a friendship/relationship.

James Toma said...

first of all, thanks for the new vocabulary words! secondly, a sad and forlorn story about an unwanted physical body part (reminiscent of a fantastical being perhaps?), and finally the drowning at the end. That's a mystery...

R.K. Garon said...

well expressed.
ZQ

Arathi Harihar said...

what a moving poem Anna..I was hoping she will come back..smiles..

bwfiction said...

you have captured that moment when the end is inevitable.

The Bizza said...

I find myself empathizing with the man in this poem far more than I would like to. Really moving work here.

Susan said...

As I read I felt a parallel between her and the fish, so that as he dies to be eaten, her death seemed inevitable--as, come to think of it, did the death of the relationship.

ayala said...

Moving and beautifully done.

Ankita said...

Beautifully penned Anna and so well expressed.

Friko said...

You made me feel that drifting fog of slow loss, gasping, drowning in a sea of loneliness.

Jenny Woolf said...

A distressing situation beautifully conveyed

Jenny Woolf said...

A distressing situation beautifully conveyed

mindlovemisery said...

I agree with Brian there is something about this that really really tugs at my heart

Brian Miller said...

hey you.
stopped in here yesterday after seeing you at someone elses to see if i missed something...hope you are doing well...

Martin said...

Very touching. Love the imagery of the ocean. How deep are the seas in which we are drowning?