Sunday, 15 October 2017

Fading


“You can’t explain what it’s like to mourn someone who’s still alive unless you’ve experienced it first hand.”
Jessica Seay-Soto


I can’t remember most of their names, those who were important to me, those I cared for across the years, those who lived when I left, left to enjoy the autumn of my life.

I have no doubt that my memory is failing, I know the signs.  I know them all too well.  I fear them.  I fear for my future.  I fear I will wake up one morning not realising that the essential me, the me I am happy with, the me that I am happy being, will have disappeared whilst I slept.

I will awake a lost soul.  And I can’t bear the thought of that.

Winter is nearing
leaving distant my selfhood,
memories fading.

Anna :o]

Please know this is not about me, but thoughts based on memories of my mum who I have been thinking of often of late.

Shared with the good folk at Poets United, the Pantry being hosted by Mary - cheers Mary!

Image courtesy of:  Wikimedia Commons

Author:  geralt

19 comments:

Vandana Sharma said...

Soft , tender emotions :)

rallentanda said...

Just beautiful. Dementia is a terrible disease not only for the person but for those who watch the deterioration as well... very sensitively expressed.

John Buchanan said...

You capture this sad subject so well, thanks for sharing your poem with us.

Mary said...

Powerful! I can't imagine what it must be like to recognize the signs and realize that that particular kind of darkness is overtaking one's mind. A sad and powerful poem.

annell said...

I suppose it is a fear we all share, "the loss of me." Beautifully done!

brudberg said...

I know of this terrible parting first hand, and I cannot really understand that when winter have arrived it's too late.. A tragic read.

Thotpurge said...

To know that winter is here and what it means... poignant write.

indybev said...


Having lost my own mother to Alzheimer's, this one hit me in the gut. So eloquently written.

Sherry Marr said...

Yes, this is a valid fear. Aging is acceptable, as long as we remain ourselves. It must have been very hard to lose your mother in that way. This poem really speaks to the heart, Anna.

Sherry Marr said...

Anna, I have tried to email you using the email on your blog but I dont think it is going through. Would you please email me at wildwomantwo@gmail.com ? I have a question. Smiles.

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Beautifully poignant.

Magaly Guerrero said...

If we are made of memories, this might be the most terrible thing that can happen to anyone. Not remembering their loves, or their selves... Heartbreaking.

Thank you for the note.

Gillena Cox said...

a Winter with no Spring on the horizon, truly tug at the heart. Anna, thanks for dropping by my Sunday Standard today

much love...

ayala said...

Sigh...sadly beautiful.

colleen Looseleafnotes said...

Keep on writing or documenting. It's healing.

Wendy Bourke said...

This is a powerful - and eloquent - expression of THAT fear, we have all experienced. An emotive and poignant piece.

Marja said...

Very powerful and moving I have seen how hard and sad it is as both our neighbours struggled
with it. We visited one recently and we were delighted that he recognised us, maybe for the last time.

J. T said...

Ohhh I really pray and hope that occurrence won't be as bad for me if/when I get to old age. May your mother rest in peace and light and may the Lord bless you with fond memories of her forever.

^.^ said...

Don't know how old/ young you are, friend, but can tell that you are "getting there" ... I am 60 years old/ young ... and the older I get the younger I feel ... smiles ... Love, cat.