Friday, 16 March 2018

Sleeping



Sometimes, when the day yawns 
and the horizon swallows up the sun,
I think of you. 

Night always had you in its grip;
as vicelike as your hands round the bottle,
as vicelike as your hands round my throat,
pressing. 

I warned you about sleeping,
that I would get my revenge.   

Murder was surprisingly easy.

Anna :o]

For Hedge's 55.

Also shared with the good folk at Poets United

Image:  Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons   
Author:  Chad fitz



28 comments:

hedgewitch said...

I often wonder why murder is not even more common than it is...a very well-paced 55, Anna, that starts out in a sort of calm but chilling series of statements, then turns quickly to show the real face of an untenable situation. Your choice of words is perfect. Thanks so much for joining us at the 55 today.

Mama Zen said...

Oooo! Nicely done!

Richard Hexem said...

interesting, and I'm suddenly nervous.

Jim said...

Women burned don't sleep. Meaningful story here, take heed.

Magaly Guerrero said...

Does the fact that I'm grinning with delight makes me a horrible person? Nah. I just love a well-told story. And this story-told poem is freaking fantastic, my dearest Anna. Deliciously paced, perfectly structured, and ended with a bang (or poison or a stab).

Martin said...

Eerie, and masterly composed.

the walking man said...

Perhaps it is not the pain that keeps me from deep sleep but rather the persistent wonder if tonight is the night?

Thotpurge said...

Goodness that was a sharp twist at the end! Nicely done!

Donna@LivingFromHappiness said...

What a suspenseful story....loved the quick pace!

Magical Mystical Teacher said...

That ending: cutthroat!

rallentanda said...

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. Nicely crafted.

Julian said...

I think there is a really good micro story in your piece that could be expanded into a good a good short story. I certainly enjoyed reading your work here. (not forgotten your recipe)

brudberg said...

It's surprisingly easy, still the hardest thing you can do.
Somehow I think if it's done at sleep it's like a small mercy.

Sherry Marr said...

Wow, this is a 55 that packs a wallop, and tells a whole, familiar story." Especially the hands around both throat and bottle. Well played.

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Gosh this is the most powerful 55 ever, Anna!!

Neeraj Khanka said...

Wow, interesting turn of events..

Susie Clevenger said...

Goodness... The song "Cell Block Tango" from the musical Chicago is playing in my head. "He had it coming..He had it coming" I'd like to read the whole story.

Kim Russell said...

Ooh, Anna! I love the way your poem starts so innocently and sweetly and turns dark with '
Night always had you in its grip;
as vicelike as your hands round the bottle,
as vicelike as your hands round my throat,
pressing'.
And that twist at the end - superb!

R.K. Garon said...

Powerful!
ZQ

Vivian Zems said...

A surprise twist...so good! 😊

Mary said...

Ha, this was chilling. I certainly did not expect the ending. Smiles.

Wendy Bourke said...

~ phew ~ that sent a chill down my spine. This was constructed to great effect. Well done!

Violence does have a way of going 'full-circle'. Victimizers would be wise to bear that in mind.

Susan said...

Yikes! Not a spare word, but to the point in a poetic act of self defense!

colleen Looseleafnotes said...

Haha! Is that a confession?

Gillena Cox said...

YIKES!!! indeed

much love...

dsnake1 said...

wow, what a twist! :)

grapeling said...

Anna! whew ~

annell said...

This is not the first time I have heard such a story, should be posted lest "someone" forgets.... I liked it!