An elaborate ritual,
you dance behind
my shower screen.
Intimately connected,
I watch
as you wash away
the memory of me.
Cleansed,
you leave,
passing me
without recognition.
Anna :o]
Shared at dVerse OLN, hosted
by Grace– cheers Grace!
Also shared with the good folk at Poets and Storytellers United Writer's Pantry #10 hosted by the lovely Sanaa - cheers Sanaa!
Also shared with the good folk at Poets and Storytellers United Writer's Pantry #10 hosted by the lovely Sanaa - cheers Sanaa!
Image: Courtesy of Flickr "August
30, 2016" by osseous is
licensed under CC BY 2.0
37 comments:
I love the thought, and it brings back memories of waking embarrassed next to someone you barely recognize... that was very long ago.
You’ve evoked the awkwardness that can follow a one-night stand, Anna. I really felt it in the final stanza.
Clinical and sterile, you create the atmosphere of the reality in your poem.
Aptly describes the emptiness of a one night stand.
Washing all traces away. It is clinical and I wonder why we ever bothered.
I think most of us have had a moment like that. Nice one.
It took me years to fully realize that sex without love was an empty gesture, but I was always grateful, and never embarressed.
I like your description of showering as washing away the memory of a lover.
You touch on something key and rather poignant here, Anna - which makes this piece something of a tender triumph. There was also a real kernel of honesty in Glenn's response to your piece, which made me smile too...
This is incredibly apt and evocative, Anna. One night stands are never actually satisfying.. providing only a momentary sense of pleasure.💝
It can be fun, it can be forgettable or memorable. In any case, washing is good, smiles.
Let it wash fully and be gone forever...
Short and powerful, nicely done.
A quick fix filling the need, but without love... leaves a void yet unfilled.
Oh we have all been there haven’t we? I felt a sting at the end of your poem reminding me of how it felt when someone just walked out the door, being able to switch it off so coldly, leaving me feeling used. 😕. Wonderfully written Anna.
Excellent poem, pins down the moment in a few short verses! JIM
Thought provoking poem.
Ouch! Still, you can't help but have a sliver of hope.
I love the intensity of this wonderful poem
I remember thinking, "Wow! This one has some amazing water pressure & this Rain Forest / Adjustable Massage shower head rocks" then accepting her unspoken invitation, heading back to her bedroom & climbing back in between the sheets. I think we dated for about a year. After that, the shower just wasn't doing it for me anymore.
Great write!
Reading this again this morning Anna, made me realise just how much what you had written had stuck in my mid - powerful writing indeed!
He's doing a rain dance in the shower but it's already wet, speaks to a futility of purpose I like the feeling of disassociation, intimately connected but unrecognized.
Memories don't wash off that easily.
If it was that easy. Maybe it is for some. I found myself watching too.
The fleeting heat and the lingering awkwardness of a nightstand, or of an encounter that has little to hold on to, in so few words. Masterfully done. I felt everything.
Great capture of the morning-after feeling after a one-night stand.
Some people do fine with one night stands, treating the encounter with the same weight others might give to chatting with a stranger whole waiting on line - pleasantly diverting but nothing more than that. But folks who find themselves dwelling overmuch on details might do well to consider that they probably aren't the sort who would be happy living this way for a long period of time.
wow found you at last ... wonder why but that is definitely the link I have to you, directly back to NHS ... so weird!
Like this one and it obviously resonates with many :)
The sadness here is that their tryst was clearly not as satisfying as they first hoped. However your writing was so clearly illustrated by your words!
Brief and profound Anna. Thanks for dropping by my sumie Sunday today
Much❤love
Ah well. We learn from it, I suppose (we for whom 'casual' and 'passion' are contradictions).
Regrets are harder to wash away and memories last even longer.
I love the brevity of this- saying nothing, saying everything.
you expressed it so well in so few words. just like how brief a one night stand can be.
Do people still do that?
Like it. A cold shower of a poem if ever there was one.
This hit so hard. Powerfully written.
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