Wistfulness

Wistfulness: the cockroach catcher

Grey day inks

into the blackest night,

sleep elusive,

I think of you,

remember,

and heady

with the scent of you,

I search beneath the sheets,

find emptiness.

I have tried so hard

to erase you from my mind,

suppress

the pain of longing,

but find

I’m saying “Yes” again

as I long for your caress again,

as I live within

the ghost of you.

I do sleep a while,

world weary, unrefreshed

I rise,

press feet

into waiting slippers,

try to warm the chill,

heat coffee pot. 

I want to smile again,

see sunny skies again,

be glad again.

Blue skies elude me,

all I see is grey,

I think of you

and all I can be

is sad again.

I try to rouse my spirits,

wonder how

my mind can be so empty

when it’s so full of you,

I fear every lonely moment

but most of all fear myself

as I sink deeper in this gloom.

The ghost of you

infiltrates my very being,

roots out, stirs each emotion.

I have this notion

that if I could rid myself

of you,

extinguish memories,

snuff out your flame,

I could be whole again.

But fear is real,

for without you

I have nothing 

and I shed tears again

as I softly
call out your name.

With thanks to JP at Olive Gardens (Poetry Picnic Week 30: Doubts, Fears, Inhibitions and Hesitations) and also posted at The Poetry Pantry at Poets United – thanks Poets United!

Image: used with the kind permission of the cockroach catcher at flickr. (The Cockroach Catcher Blog can be found here!

Anna :o]