Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Storm Brewing

photo by Andy Magee
Rain streams
in never-ending rivulets,
blurs,
obscures vision.

The unremitting
rhythmic wurr, 
               wurr,  
               wurr
of wiper blades
irritates, marks time
as you sit behind the wheel
fix-gazed on anything but me.

This is an oft travelled road,
I anticipate the coming storm,
sense the thunder,
wonder what will precipitate
the squall.

I watch the blades
raise the tempo
as they swish to and fro,
aggravate existing fury,
heavens darken, heighten fear
and you begin to glance at me
hate-faced
and I know the time is near -
tis not only skies that will blacken.

Anna :o]

With thanks to Tess at The Mag for the inspiration.  Also entered at Open Link Night at dVerse, hosted by the excellent Joe Hesch.

31 comments:

Kelvin S.M. said...

...rough, strong write Anna... i find your poem enticingly descriptive and very effective in producing voices... perhaps, the sound you creates here add an impact to the entire poem and very well directed to the readers.... excellent!

P.S...yes, it's me in the photo..

smiles...

Dr Erhumu - twitter@drerhumu said...

Lovely. Wondering about the couple in the car and the bitter fight that will ensue as the storm draws near.

Lydia said...

Whew, Anna.... you and I were on a bit of a wavelength regarding the sense of this prompt. I love what you did with it, love the way it builds and builds until finally....

Dominic Rivron said...

Of your poems this has shot to my number one! Good stuff. I expect it'll kick around in my head all day.

Vicki said...

it's lovely and sad. dreary weather sometimes has that effect. very good :)

Brian Miller said...

oh nice...way to use the storm to bring out their emotions in this...i love the sound of the wiper blades in your words too...evocative piece anna

Berowne said...

Fresh, intriguing - and rather powerful, in its way.

She Writes said...

I have been in car with a man like this. Well done. love the way you show the scene and the way the narrator sees the weather within and without.

anthonynorth said...

A storm brewing within and without. Great words.

Tigerbrite said...

You build the tempo in this so cleverly and leave us to imagine the explosion of weather and anger:)

Helen said...

... 'fix-gazed' .. 'precipitate the squall' .. 'hate faced' .. fascinating how you used these words in a great poem! Happy Holidays.

Carrie Burtt said...

Storms can brew in all kinds of places and people...great write Anna! :-)

izzy said...

I have been in a partner's presence just stormy as you say- thanks.

Other Mary said...

Ooh, very omnious...you've captured it perfectly.

Mary said...

Anna, this really captured storms well...both the storms of the heavens and the storm between humans. Powerful ending.

Claudia said...

oh heck...i could feel the storm brewing and wish there were emotional wipers that could keep it at bay..ugh...very effectively penned

Sabio Lantz said...

very nice metaphor -- perfect for each. I wonder how it went. Did you leave that lover?

Kay L. Davies said...

Ooh, I could feel more than the storm coming in this write, Anna. Well done.
And thank you for commenting on my blog. I appreciate everyone who comments, but especially other writers.
Kay
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thank-you for your very kind and welcome comments folks.

Sabio - Oh yes! I like a tranquil climate. :o]

Anna :o]

Dave King said...

Ah, I do love it when elements and people blacken - or brighten - together! Super stuff!

Kim Nelson said...

Powerful vehicle to illustrate the demise of relationship, Anna. Tight and metaphor-specific. Well done.

Green Speck said...

You interpreted it so well ... the storm is perfectly illustrated ... loved it !!!

Green Speck said...

You interpreted it so well ... the storm is perfectly illustrated ... loved it !!!

ayala said...

Nice write, Anna.

kaykuala said...

The storm has the impact of creating something sinister. A cold or perhaps terrible scene in the making.Very effectively portrayed Anna!

Hank

Fred Rutherford said...

excellent picture painted here, building the scene perfectly and then bringing the overriding metaphor late, very effective. Thanks

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Cheers for your most welcome comments folks.

Anna :o]

Brian Miller said...

merry christmas anna...i hope you have a wonderful holiday

Luke Prater said...

Impending doom... doomsday? The end of the world prophecy? It is ending.. the world as we know it... I love your wur wur wur onomatopoeia

James Rainsford said...

So poignant and topical. Rain, rage and inevitable regret. Great job.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thank you Brian Luke & James.

Luke ~ no, not the end of the world as we know it, but

the thoughts of someone who knows her world very well and the sequences of which follow a predictable path- not me I might add :o]

I am rambling a bit - time for bed I think.

Anna :o]