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| photo by Andy Magee |
Rain streams
in never-ending rivulets,
blurs,
obscures vision.
The unremitting
rhythmic wurr,
wurr,
wurr
of wiper blades
irritates, marks time
as you sit behind the wheel
fix-gazed on anything but me.
This is an oft travelled road,
I anticipate the coming storm,
sense the thunder,
wonder what will precipitate
the squall.
I watch the blades
raise the tempo
as they swish to and fro,
aggravate existing fury,
heavens darken, heighten fear
and you begin to glance at me
hate-faced
and I know the time is near -
tis not only skies that will blacken.
Anna :o]
With thanks to Tess at The Mag for the inspiration. Also entered at Open Link Night at dVerse, hosted by the excellent Joe Hesch.
31 comments:
...rough, strong write Anna... i find your poem enticingly descriptive and very effective in producing voices... perhaps, the sound you creates here add an impact to the entire poem and very well directed to the readers.... excellent!
P.S...yes, it's me in the photo..
smiles...
Lovely. Wondering about the couple in the car and the bitter fight that will ensue as the storm draws near.
Whew, Anna.... you and I were on a bit of a wavelength regarding the sense of this prompt. I love what you did with it, love the way it builds and builds until finally....
Of your poems this has shot to my number one! Good stuff. I expect it'll kick around in my head all day.
it's lovely and sad. dreary weather sometimes has that effect. very good :)
oh nice...way to use the storm to bring out their emotions in this...i love the sound of the wiper blades in your words too...evocative piece anna
Fresh, intriguing - and rather powerful, in its way.
I have been in car with a man like this. Well done. love the way you show the scene and the way the narrator sees the weather within and without.
A storm brewing within and without. Great words.
You build the tempo in this so cleverly and leave us to imagine the explosion of weather and anger:)
... 'fix-gazed' .. 'precipitate the squall' .. 'hate faced' .. fascinating how you used these words in a great poem! Happy Holidays.
Storms can brew in all kinds of places and people...great write Anna! :-)
I have been in a partner's presence just stormy as you say- thanks.
Ooh, very omnious...you've captured it perfectly.
Anna, this really captured storms well...both the storms of the heavens and the storm between humans. Powerful ending.
oh heck...i could feel the storm brewing and wish there were emotional wipers that could keep it at bay..ugh...very effectively penned
very nice metaphor -- perfect for each. I wonder how it went. Did you leave that lover?
Ooh, I could feel more than the storm coming in this write, Anna. Well done.
And thank you for commenting on my blog. I appreciate everyone who comments, but especially other writers.
Kay
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel
Thank-you for your very kind and welcome comments folks.
Sabio - Oh yes! I like a tranquil climate. :o]
Anna :o]
Ah, I do love it when elements and people blacken - or brighten - together! Super stuff!
Powerful vehicle to illustrate the demise of relationship, Anna. Tight and metaphor-specific. Well done.
You interpreted it so well ... the storm is perfectly illustrated ... loved it !!!
You interpreted it so well ... the storm is perfectly illustrated ... loved it !!!
Nice write, Anna.
The storm has the impact of creating something sinister. A cold or perhaps terrible scene in the making.Very effectively portrayed Anna!
Hank
excellent picture painted here, building the scene perfectly and then bringing the overriding metaphor late, very effective. Thanks
Cheers for your most welcome comments folks.
Anna :o]
merry christmas anna...i hope you have a wonderful holiday
Impending doom... doomsday? The end of the world prophecy? It is ending.. the world as we know it... I love your wur wur wur onomatopoeia
So poignant and topical. Rain, rage and inevitable regret. Great job.
Thank you Brian Luke & James.
Luke ~ no, not the end of the world as we know it, but
the thoughts of someone who knows her world very well and the sequences of which follow a predictable path- not me I might add :o]
I am rambling a bit - time for bed I think.
Anna :o]
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