Thursday, 24 October 2013

With Rapier Wit


With rapier wit- his words his sword,
a cut deep into her heart he scored
and twisted thus (with daggers thrust)
and she (poor thing) her longings crushed,
wailed, as from her eyes her tears poured.

And he (the fool) knew that she he adored
and knew his words himself had gored,
and knew deep inside that he was cussed
with rapier wit.

He genuflect, forgiveness he implored,
his heartfelt wish; her love be restored.
And she (good thing) her worries hushed,
a kiss upon his cheek she brushed.
And he: lust crude confessed lost her once more
with rapier wit.

Anna :o]

Tony at dVerse has us write a Rondeau for today’s Form for All, thanks Tony.

I subscribe to Wikimedia Commons Picture of the Day and as today's was so perfect I had to use it and gained my inspiration from there.  (Author attribution: Marie-Lan Nguyen)

30 comments:

Björn said...

Anna.. love the theme of this game of love... the picture together with the rhythm makes it really witty and sweet.. and the loss at the end .. so sad.

Brian Miller said...

ah our words cut deeper than most swords...good on forgiveness but she best watch for once struck, he may do so again...smiles...nicely done to form....

^.^ said...

OMG, Anna ... don't know what to say ... sometimes forgiveness is pure foolishness ...

vb holmes said...

Clever use of your refrain--a sad tale told with a light touch.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Sometimes you have to take several risks with love in order to earn the reward :)

rumoursofrhyme said...

Sometimes you just have to put that rapier wit to one side, and instead use gentle words.

A lesson learned the hard way, and beautifully told in your rondeau.

Glenn Buttkus said...

A sardonic rondeau, full of wit, tears, & misguided acts; you grasped this form by the horns & shook the hell out of it, Anna; nice job. The poem put me in mind of Cyrano, for sure. You rocked it, catapulted into the past.

notenoughpoetry.com said...

Nice imagery with the rapier and words, both can cut in an instant. Very clever rondeau, Anna.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thank you for your welcome comments folks - much appreciated.
Anna :o]

grapeling said...

elegant and pointed, Anna :) ~ M

aprille said...

There's only one thing I can say here: I married my fencing teacher !
Was it the wit, the thrust, the foil, or the words, or the left hand shake :-)

Anders Vaksinius said...

A man ought to be a farmer.

Heaven said...

What a creative title & refrain ~ I enjoyed the love sword play ~ Too bad on the ending ~ Good work on the form Anna ~

Luke Prater said...

she should give his rapier a good twist where it bloody hurts! hehe

Nico said...

Giving oneself to another can be the most thrilling thing in the world, but the closeness also leaves one vulnerable. Love is like a fight--protect yourself at all times. Great work here!

rowantaw.com said...

Some people just can't help themselves. Great storytelling in rondeau form!

Vandana Sharma said...

Nice one!

freyawrites.com said...

Ah, the cut and thrust of love play. I really enjoyed this read!

Tigerbrite said...

Loved this Anna. Well done:)

kkkkaty said...

Oh my, Anna, such a selection of interesting words you chose to rhyme....the form comes easily to you and works perfectly!

mindlovemisery said...

Brilliant Anna you rocked the form and I love the interaction between the character, awesome!

Akila G said...

The picture adds a frame to your words. Cool wordplay here.

Heidi said...

So clever and brilliant. I loved the parenthetical asides. Smart use of the form for the content. I love your posts!

quest4peas said...

rapier wit...I guess it CAN be a bad thing at times. Great rondeau!

seasideauthor said...

What a cycle they are in? Great read wonder if someone will step out of the circle? Or do they think that is what love really is??? Very good insight. Excellent to the form.

Dick Jones said...

A clever and witty sustained metaphor.

dlilahcarson said...

I think I have dated this man! I enjoyed the clever choice of words and the wonderful execution.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

So well written and poignant.

Brian Miller said...

happy last day october...smiles.
hope your day goes well.

Jenny Woolf said...

I agree with Bjorn, it is about the game of love. What always strikes me about fencers though is how awkward it looks, crouching down like that with one arm behind.Very strange! :)