With rapier wit- his words his sword,
a cut deep into her heart he scored
and twisted thus (with daggers thrust)
and she (poor thing) her longings crushed,
wailed, as from her eyes her tears poured.
And he (the fool) knew that she he adored
and knew his words himself had gored,
and knew deep inside that he was cussed
with rapier wit.
He genuflect, forgiveness he implored,
his heartfelt wish; her love be restored.
And she (good thing) her worries hushed,
a kiss upon his cheek she brushed.
And he: lust crude confessed lost her once more
with rapier wit.
Anna :o]
I subscribe to Wikimedia Commons Picture of the Day and as today's was so perfect I had to use it and gained my inspiration from there. (Author attribution: Marie-Lan Nguyen)
29 comments:
Anna.. love the theme of this game of love... the picture together with the rhythm makes it really witty and sweet.. and the loss at the end .. so sad.
ah our words cut deeper than most swords...good on forgiveness but she best watch for once struck, he may do so again...smiles...nicely done to form....
OMG, Anna ... don't know what to say ... sometimes forgiveness is pure foolishness ...
Clever use of your refrain--a sad tale told with a light touch.
Sometimes you have to take several risks with love in order to earn the reward :)
Sometimes you just have to put that rapier wit to one side, and instead use gentle words.
A lesson learned the hard way, and beautifully told in your rondeau.
A sardonic rondeau, full of wit, tears, & misguided acts; you grasped this form by the horns & shook the hell out of it, Anna; nice job. The poem put me in mind of Cyrano, for sure. You rocked it, catapulted into the past.
Nice imagery with the rapier and words, both can cut in an instant. Very clever rondeau, Anna.
Thank you for your welcome comments folks - much appreciated.
Anna :o]
elegant and pointed, Anna :) ~ M
There's only one thing I can say here: I married my fencing teacher !
Was it the wit, the thrust, the foil, or the words, or the left hand shake :-)
A man ought to be a farmer.
What a creative title & refrain ~ I enjoyed the love sword play ~ Too bad on the ending ~ Good work on the form Anna ~
she should give his rapier a good twist where it bloody hurts! hehe
Giving oneself to another can be the most thrilling thing in the world, but the closeness also leaves one vulnerable. Love is like a fight--protect yourself at all times. Great work here!
Some people just can't help themselves. Great storytelling in rondeau form!
Ah, the cut and thrust of love play. I really enjoyed this read!
Loved this Anna. Well done:)
Oh my, Anna, such a selection of interesting words you chose to rhyme....the form comes easily to you and works perfectly!
Brilliant Anna you rocked the form and I love the interaction between the character, awesome!
The picture adds a frame to your words. Cool wordplay here.
So clever and brilliant. I loved the parenthetical asides. Smart use of the form for the content. I love your posts!
rapier wit...I guess it CAN be a bad thing at times. Great rondeau!
What a cycle they are in? Great read wonder if someone will step out of the circle? Or do they think that is what love really is??? Very good insight. Excellent to the form.
A clever and witty sustained metaphor.
I think I have dated this man! I enjoyed the clever choice of words and the wonderful execution.
So well written and poignant.
happy last day october...smiles.
hope your day goes well.
I agree with Bjorn, it is about the game of love. What always strikes me about fencers though is how awkward it looks, crouching down like that with one arm behind.Very strange! :)
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