Thursday, 15 September 2011

Night Brings No Comfort

Night
Does not swiftly pass me by
As quickly in rem sleep
(Or otherwise)
I do not slumber;
I lie awake
And remember you
By your awful number
Six, six, six –
My very devil
In the black of night.

I drink
Countless cups of coffee
In respectful toast of you
And smoke cigarettes
In fear of you
As you infiltrate
The very being of me.
I see you
For what you are
And see me
For what indeed I am.

The very sham of me,
The awful pretence
Of whom I want to be,
The one who copes
With a fragmented mind
Where black thoughts
Have much too easy access.

Full moon
Or otherwise
You create
The monsters in my mind,
The kind that illuminate the me
I do not want to see.

Dawn delivers
Me restless from the night.
I shall never be free of me.
I am what I am
And will always be..

Anna :o]

With thanks to the good folks at Poetry Jam and  dVerse Poets for the inspiration.

21 comments:

Brian Miller said...

i shall never be free of me...ugh...yes the monsters come to find us at our weakest, tired and alone in the night...nice emotive write...i feel you...

Sheila Moore said...

yikes! reminds me of one of my fav cliches/quotes? "everywhere I go there I am." I like how descriptive the nighttime actions are - I could smell the coffee and see the cigarette burning in the dark...

ayala said...

I shall never be free of me....nice share.

Martin said...

There are times when we're not the company we desire.

Isabel Doyle said...

nor the me we dream of being - fine poem of the night watches

Jack Edwards Poetry said...

Powerful and well written poem.
Loved the,

'fragmented mind '

bit.

Dave King said...

I often wonder which me it is that does the dreaming. Your amazing poem has set me wondering all over again.

Frances Garrood said...

As a seasoned insomniac, I can so identify with that, Anna. I only hope you usually sleep better than I do!

Mama Zen said...

Outstanding write!

haikulovesongs said...

ooooh! i really love this, Anna! too true some nights.
dani ♥

johnallenrichter said...

Demons inside..... Absolutely classic write! Creating monsters illuminating the things of me I don't want to see.... That is absolutely brilliant...... excellent choice of words in so many places.... Very talented Miss Anna :o] !!!

ShonEjai said...

Powerful!

HyperCRYPTICal said...

Thank you for your very kind comments folk - now must start the second part of my marathon to read your excellent posts!

Anna :o]

Lolamouse said...

Ooh, what a creepy write! Gave me the chills! Insomnia often leads to dark thoughts about ourselves.

hedgewitch said...

Taking the whole monster/vampire/creature of the night trope to a gritty and real level that has nothing to do with dark candy-coated fantasies of such things. Well done.

gautami tripathy said...

The I is me, the me is I...can we live without either?

stapled maples

Morning said...

love your take.

night could be haunting or hurting...

Mary said...

This is excellent. Sounds like some of what goes on in my mind in the middle of the night. And then when it is time to get up, I am tired..

The Bug said...

I always feel like a sham too - definitely do NOT want the light to shine too brightly on me! This is a really good poem even if it does bring all my insecurities to the forefront.

Anna :o] said...

Thank you for your kind comments folks.

The still and dark of night certainly does bring insecurities to the fore at times.

Anna :o]

PS Blogger playing up again - can't stay signed in and no editing tools.

Jim Swindle said...

You have a real gift with words, and I can identify with the guilt you describe. Do remember, however, that God is in the business of changing people. I've met many of them. There is real life through Jesus, who died for sinners and rose again. He said, "I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."