Sunday, 14 January 2018

Fear


Fear crept up on you,
do you feel it now,
how it tingles in your chest?    

Best take a tablet mother,
otherwise it’ll do you harm. 
Calm down, rest a while,
I’ll not bother you again...
then again,   I might... 
Night holds its fascinations,
temptations of the sordid kind. 

Mind if I visit you again?

Anna :o]

Marian at Real Toads  has us writing Chained Rhyme, that is where the last syllable or word of each line if followed by a rhyme on the first word or syllable of the next line.  Cheers for the inspiration Marian!

Also entered for Verse escape 55 where we can write on any theme using only 55 words.  Cheers Hedgewitch!

And shared with the good folk at Poets United hosted by the lovely Mary, so another cheers!

Image:  Courtesy of  Wikimedia Commons

Author:   Gert Germeraad

31 comments:

Fireblossom said...

Wow, this works on about nine levels. Combing the 55 with the chain rhyme was really ambitious but you pulled it off without a hitch, at least in final form. I'm sure you probably got a headache editing it! Not only does it work in form, but it also is very effectively creepy in content. Love it.

Marian said...

Wow! I love this, just love it. The enjambment combined with the rhymes is so stylish and wonderful. I love it! I would like another visit, thank you :)

hedgewitch said...

This brings the grue in classic style, with a very subtle and effective use of the chained rhyme, a favorite form of mine. I love the way you have personalized Fear, and also made it very real and immediate--and all in 55 words. Really excellent, Anna. So glad you stopped by the 55, and thanks for playing.

Kim Russell said...

So nicely done, Anna. You've linked the lines with rhyme and enjambment so well, and gave me a chill!

brudberg said...

This is so well done... eerie and strong at the same time. Fear and the sense of drugs working in the veins is excellent...

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

This is a wow for me--so well done!!

Other Mary said...

Oooh, very eerie!

Magaly Guerrero said...

You sure know how to craft creepy that creeps through the edges, my lady. I can definitely feel the tingle...

Truedessa said...

This is def on the creepy side, but written so well!

indybev said...


A masterful example of chain rhyme, nevermind it gives me chills! I will sleep tonight with one eye open. lol

Martin said...

Bravo! It was surely no easy task ...

paulscribbles said...

Superbly executed and very sinister.

Mary said...

I really liked the way you worked the chain rhyme. A really REALLY chilling portrayal!

Sara McNulty said...

This is outstanding! Scary photo, scary words. Love it.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wow chain style AND 55 words, you outdid yourself. Bravo.

Jae Rose said...

I love the chilling undertone here very effective

mud green said...

excellent

Samyuktha Jayaprakash said...

Stunning. Loved what you had to say even more!

Sanaa Rizvi said...

This is absolutely phenomenal, Anna!!💞

Gillena Cox said...

Great word craft!!! a bit 'spine tingly'

much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Monday WRites 138 is live, Please link in.

Much love...

annell said...

Great job here.

Frank J. Tassone said...

An admirable personification of fear. Tight rhythm and pacing--brilliant write!

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Ooh, that is utterly sinister and chilling – the epitome of fear.

MNL (Cactus Haiku) said...

spooky!

dsnake1 said...

very well executed with the form. and yes, utterly chilling at the same time.

Loredana Donovan said...

A great metaphor for fear, spooky! Well done! 😊

sackerson said...

What a subtle effect! One can not notice the rhymes/think of them as rhymes as you read - but feel the distinctive effect they have on the poem.

It reminded me of that engraving, The Nightmare.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d5/Thomas_Burke_The_Nightmare_engraving.jpg/330px-Thomas_Burke_The_Nightmare_engraving.jpg

Wendy Bourke said...

This is brilliant! A chain rhyme done to a 55 word count - AND you have totally nailed the content, to boot ... a really clever - albeit eerie and visceral - expression of fear. I am so impressed with this piece.

aspiritofsimplicity said...

Very clever.

Carrie Van Horn said...

This is brilliant Anna! Love the form! This gave me chills....i love it!!