Fear crept up on you,
do you feel it now,
how it tingles in your
chest?
Best take a tablet mother,
otherwise it’ll do you
harm.
Calm down, rest a while,
I’ll not bother you again...
then again, I might...
Night holds its fascinations,
temptations of the sordid
kind.
Mind if I visit you again?
Anna :o]
Marian at Real Toads has us writing
Chained Rhyme, that is where the last syllable or word of each line if followed
by a rhyme on the first word or syllable of the next line. Cheers for the inspiration Marian!
Also entered for Verse escape 55 where we can write on any theme using only 55 words. Cheers Hedgewitch!
And shared with the good folk at Poets United hosted by the lovely Mary, so another cheers!
And shared with the good folk at Poets United hosted by the lovely Mary, so another cheers!
Image: Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Author: Gert Germeraad
30 comments:
Wow, this works on about nine levels. Combing the 55 with the chain rhyme was really ambitious but you pulled it off without a hitch, at least in final form. I'm sure you probably got a headache editing it! Not only does it work in form, but it also is very effectively creepy in content. Love it.
Wow! I love this, just love it. The enjambment combined with the rhymes is so stylish and wonderful. I love it! I would like another visit, thank you :)
This brings the grue in classic style, with a very subtle and effective use of the chained rhyme, a favorite form of mine. I love the way you have personalized Fear, and also made it very real and immediate--and all in 55 words. Really excellent, Anna. So glad you stopped by the 55, and thanks for playing.
So nicely done, Anna. You've linked the lines with rhyme and enjambment so well, and gave me a chill!
This is so well done... eerie and strong at the same time. Fear and the sense of drugs working in the veins is excellent...
This is a wow for me--so well done!!
Oooh, very eerie!
You sure know how to craft creepy that creeps through the edges, my lady. I can definitely feel the tingle...
This is def on the creepy side, but written so well!
A masterful example of chain rhyme, nevermind it gives me chills! I will sleep tonight with one eye open. lol
Bravo! It was surely no easy task ...
Superbly executed and very sinister.
I really liked the way you worked the chain rhyme. A really REALLY chilling portrayal!
This is outstanding! Scary photo, scary words. Love it.
Wow chain style AND 55 words, you outdid yourself. Bravo.
I love the chilling undertone here very effective
excellent
Stunning. Loved what you had to say even more!
This is absolutely phenomenal, Anna!!💞
Great word craft!!! a bit 'spine tingly'
much love...
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Much love...
Great job here.
An admirable personification of fear. Tight rhythm and pacing--brilliant write!
Ooh, that is utterly sinister and chilling – the epitome of fear.
spooky!
very well executed with the form. and yes, utterly chilling at the same time.
What a subtle effect! One can not notice the rhymes/think of them as rhymes as you read - but feel the distinctive effect they have on the poem.
It reminded me of that engraving, The Nightmare.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d5/Thomas_Burke_The_Nightmare_engraving.jpg/330px-Thomas_Burke_The_Nightmare_engraving.jpg
This is brilliant! A chain rhyme done to a 55 word count - AND you have totally nailed the content, to boot ... a really clever - albeit eerie and visceral - expression of fear. I am so impressed with this piece.
Very clever.
This is brilliant Anna! Love the form! This gave me chills....i love it!!
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