Friday 22 March 2024

End of Life

Michael 1976

He looks a lot smaller this day,

disappearing under the bed sheets,

shrinking into the mattress.


Everything is slowing down…


Soon everything will stop

and I wont know what to do with myself


I will be lost    so very lost


without him.




My Michael passed away August 2021 at the grand old age of seventy-two.  His death was expected.  He was the love of my life.

Michael had been a resident in the most wonderful caring care home since 2014.  It became his new home and he recognised the staff more than he did me and our two sons.  This did not hurt us at all as it was proof of how much he was so loved by the staff and indeed he was.  He felt safe, felt loved.  His care was exemplary and how so evident this was in his last three weeks of life, staff visiting him on their days off or phoning in to see how he was, asking if he still was with us.  Lovely lovely lovely people.

I wrote the above words sometime within these last three weeks, filled with grief of expected loss.

Our two sons and I found our eventual loss not as profound as we had expected it to be.  Timewise our grief passed relatively quickly.  I guess a slow separation had begun in 2014… the emotional distance.

I still find myself saying “Hello Michael” to his photograph and kissing him there.  I like that.  He is free and I am not lost.  Loves ya Michael!

Shared with the lovely people at Poets and Storytellers United, hosted by Rommy – cheers Rommy!