Friday, 14 December 2012

It's Always You, You, You!

You say my drinking makes you miserable;
that you don’t know what to do when I’mthis way.’ 
Why is it always about you, you, you?  
It doesn’t take much imagination
to figure out why I’m like this – it’s you, you, you!
Does it never cross your stupid mind
that you drive me to such depths of despair
with your moan, moan, moaning,
drinking is my only solace, my only way out? 
You shout and scream I make you unhappy
and you wish things were like they were before,
that this ‘sheer hell’ (moan, moan, moan)
is not you what you (moan) married me for. 
Do you honestly think I care? 
I wish you’d just leave me alone
and go and kill yourself,
cos you’re killing me with your nag, nag, nag.

Oh surprise, surprise! 
Here come the waterworks,
tears spilling from your stupid eyes
as you wail that life is so unfair,
that you can’t live like this anymore. 
Well piss off then you stupid whore. 
But you won’t, will you? 
You always say you’re gonna go -
but you always stay. 
Don’t you know I know why you won’t,
cos no-one else
would have a moaning bag like you? 
No wonder I bloody drink to drown out your
moan, moan, moan. 
Well Mrs Moanybag
I wish you’d just piss off and leave me alone.

Moan, moan, moan, moan, moan.

Anna :o]

Although my work involves caring for alcoholics and ex-alcoholics, I, as many ‘health professionals’ did not understand, did not know of the circumstances of the families of alcoholics as their story is not often told as it is hardly ever considered.

For the most part, families live their lives without any support whatsoever – unless that of Alcoholics Anonymous or similar agencies.

Without Addy’s blog Alcohlic Daze and Linda’s The Immortal Alcoholic – I would still not know.

A long-term alcoholic living with his/her family often blames his/her partner for the problem - unjustly.

This poem was written in response to the challenge to write in the second person at dVerse 'Meeting the Bar' hosted by Victoria C.Slotto.  Thanks Victoria.

Image: courtesy of Wikimedia Commons, author Steven


Victoria said...

This is so good, Anna. I've worked with alcoholics, too, and the tendency to blame others, especially their spouse, for their problems is so common. There is so much anger underlying this that it affects me on a visceral level. Well done.

Grace said...

This is a very good voice ~ I think we can blame everything else but ourselves.

I always like it when you use your real life experience to draw your words ~

Mary said...

Anna, as Victoria said, this is good. I am so glad that this is not your life...but you made the situation SO real. There is just so much here. I TRULY commend you for this write......

Brian Miller said...

ugh...sad too the blame bouncing back and forth and trying to shift it as well...its hard...i have worked with alcoholics and addicts as capture well the interactions....

henry clemmons said...

Ouch, some harsh words. You captured this scene very well, stark naked, honestly well. Very, very good!

Claudia said...

ugh...this rang all too familiar as my father was drinking..and they always blame everyone else...tightly penned anna

ADDY said...

Thanks for the mention, Anna. So true, so true. x

Kelvin S.M. said...

....what a universal scenario you've just stated here... anyone who drink too much really gets crazy and changes in attitude / behavior a lot... i've seen many lives ruined by alcohols and still couldn't figure it out what was in such that people are keep on patriotizing again and again... i think you write very effectively... and those repeated words add force and effects in your voice... excellent... smiles...

kaykuala said...

Chuckles! That tinge of humor is great, Anna! A serious matter in a lighter mood. It takes talent to create one. Enjoyed it!


Frances Garrood said...

It's what I call the "who left that chair there?" syndrome. Blame someon else, the chair, anything. But don't take responsibility yourself. A good post.

Daydreamertoo said...

Well this hits home, hard.
You know you are so right, all the support is given to the addicted person once they ask for help and yet, so many family and friends are left floundering.
Powerful. Heartfelt too.

Anonymous said...

a harsh bit of reality, seen too often... a well written piece on a tough subject

Kim Nelson said...

Wow! You certainly captured the blaming behavior so commonly exhibited by addicts, as well as the manipulative co-dependency their loved ones display.

Anonymous said...

whew, this is a shocker! and very, very brilliant!
what a perspective you took... very provocative, real - and utterly fascinating.
i love this, Anna. great work!

Bodhirose said...

Yes, the blame game is a common one of those with addiction problems. I grew up in a household with an alcoholic and it was no fun...still feel the repercussions even after his death.

And as you well know, it's the drink talking here. Close to home this one...

Brudberg said...

A voice of self-pity that is almost unbearable to hear. But admitting your own faults is the hardest of all. And deep witin you know that coming out of the addiction you will have a mountain of guilt to deal with.

Thank you for your kind words on my blog.


Luke Prater said...

Very sad. Tough read. I often wonder why the wife doesn't just leave. Then I realise she's caught in a cycle that she can't get out of. When something big forces the split, often she'll end up with another alcoholic/abusive partner. Than you for writing on these issues. I have little experience with this one and wouldn't touch it myself because of it. I admire you for doing so

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Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Very insightful and well done.

^.^ said...

Wow, this so right on ... things can change though ... as soon as she realizes that she is part of the problem ... by being there for him ... in what ever which way ... as long as she enables him, he will not stop drinking ... harsh reality, but only rock bottom/ tough love will make him stop. Great write.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Thank you for your welcome comments folks.

I have more experience of families who live with other kinds of 'abuse' and I do wonder at times whether the blanket label of co-dependent is fair.

Often other unchangeable factors are at play as to why families stay.

Anna :o]