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| Toril "Smells Like Rain" |
Neath cumulonimbus clouds
fields’ fazed poppy-red:
terra firma smells of rain.
And he, poor soul,
besmirched by those
who would secure,
decapitates the innocent
Terra firma fazed poppy-red
smells of rain.
Anna :o[
Anna at dVerse has us writing of reduction, Oulipo or
surprising conceit. I really don’t know
if my effort covers any, but my purpose was to condense or reduce what
perhaps I might otherwise have written -
with a bit of metaphor thrown in.
My inspiration was that of a wonderful image at Real Toads, that of Toril “Smells Like Rain” and also an article in The Sunday Telegraph regarding Jihadi
John which can be found here.
There are worrying clouds over this world of ours.
33 comments:
to have no choice but to behead 7 innocents...just shaking my head a bit there...
i love the smell after rain, the freshness of earth...
Very good, Anna. A fallen soldier, I am thinking....
This poem evokes that wonderful smell of rain and yet, reminds of those poppy fields blooming, row on row.
I love the smell of rain... and the sadness of having no choice but to behead the innocent is subtle, yet bold at the same time... Love this powerful write
This poem makes me contemplate senseless death as well as the smell of the soil after rain. Evocative writing.
such a violent scene in such a pastoral poem - beautiful imagery
So sad but so real it is when the rain and the poppies nourished by that rain cannot get along.. and destroy the droplets and colors of love..:)
Poppies evoke WW! and real bravery and endurance as the war was so hard. It takes a whole new meaning when used in the same poem as Jihadi John.
The poppy red imagery is one of death so the smell of rain is a vivid contrast ~
vivid contrast indeed
maybe more than i can comprehend
namste
jzb
You've built a whole world of danger, beauty, senselessness, innocence, and indictment. I think you've got the experimental protocol down to a science!
Beautiful..love the smell, sound, and feel of the rain...this has a bite to it.
So easy for an innocent to lop off a few flowers, but I would hate to confuse that with lopping off human heads! Theb poppys don't/won't even hide the blood.
it all looks so peaceful at times but there are def. dark clouds that make me worry a lot when i look at certain things that happen in the world
The image of the poppies and the smell of read is so vividly contrasted to the image of blood on desert floor... So upsetting sad and still beautiful and sad.
Indeed, there are worrying clouds over the world like never before. Let the rains come and perhaps...
I liked the tie into the red of the poppies, I think that's what it work for me.
It works for me - and fits in perfectly with the image. A sense of foreboding, of the ominous...
This is beautiful writing.
So many things can be associated with poppies and this is really heart rendering.
I really like the way your poem turned around on itself and brought us back to the initial image.
Very adept tie-in of those poppy-fields, their color, their beauty, and their life, contrasted with the dark actions of our times. This was my favorite image, and you have really written well to it.
This is brilliant! You really cut to the heart here Anna.
I love the alliteration and the stretch into vocabulary that is unique and precise! Well done, Anna!
nicely done. Reminds me somewhat of "In Flanders Fields", and the sorrow that the remains for those who mourn the loss of the fallen.
Ooh "decapitates the innocent..." yikes, that is strong stuff.
I like that you reduced this from what you otherwise would have written. So often we feel we have to fill up the page with words, when often only a few words are best. That is true in this case. Very nice write. Peace, Linda
Maybe the rain is trying to wash away the poppy redness... a peaceful sounding poem but underneath tragedy.
The scent of nature against such a horrible travesty is unsettling..Interesting write
I like how you bring contrasting images here, and link them.
It is difficult to understand that a poor soul just because he is besmirched goes around decapitating the innocent with a vengeance. He must be certainly demented to do such a horrible and abominable thing.
Excellent post and lovely photo.
Best wishes
The imagery here holds sorrow in it even in the midst of the beauty of the poppies and the evocation of that beautiful smell of fresh rain....Plus....you have inspired me to go take a look at the D'Verse prompt.
The Anna smiley is sad!
I'm a little sad too. Great write, Anna.
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